Cathy barked out a laugh that was more bitter than joyful, taking him by surprise. She pulled away from him. He let her go, only because he was already done with the first round of cleaning her wounds. She stood up, a statuesque woman, looking down at him as he knelt before her like a supplicant. Like someone willing to serve her all his life.
“You do not have to pretend to care for me,” she said. The words were spoken in a harsh, disbelieving tone. “We are alone here. There is no need for a performance. This is a private garden, not a ballroom where people will look at us to see if we get along. Not even the staff are here to see us.”
Tristan rose slowly, suddenly the weight of the past few days’ mission crashing on him. His height loomed over her, then, but the way she saw him made him feel small. Was that how she thought of him?
I was the one who asked to be done with pretenses.
“Are you turning the accusation my way now? Are you accusing me of pretending?” he asked incredulously.
“I was never a woman with silly, romantic dreams of love,” she confirmed, her voice no longer trembling. The fear and pain were slowly disappearing. “I knew what our marriage was from the very beginning. I knew what I was to you. You do not need to show me a display of devotion. There is nothing to gain from that. Please spare us both the exhaustion.”
Tristan felt like someone had jabbed him in the chest. It was almost like a fencing foil had dug in and twisted around in it. He had traveled day and night. He had endured asking her father to come back home. Quinten was a coward living in squalor. Tristan would not have gone to see him if not for her.
He wanted Cathy to regain her peace. To let him take care of her.
“Do you really think that was a performance?” he asked, his voice cracking. “I went to the coast not for my own business, Cathy, but for you. I had people look into your father’s whereabouts. I found him living in a hovel by the sea. I wanted to take that burden off you. It may not seem that way, but I did it for you because I know you still care about your father’s well-being. I did it for your family! I did it because I care about you, and I hoped that you would come to care about me. For real this time.”
Cathy’s mask slipped away for a moment. He then saw hope and disbelief play in her eyes. Her lips parted, but nothing came out of them. But it was brief, so brief that one might wonder if it happened. She quickly rebuilt her walls and closed her doors against him.
“If you truly care for me, you should do right by Miss Longrove and her baby.”
Tristan felt everything tilt. Blood roared in his ears. He could not believe what he had just heard.
“What in God’s name are you talking about, Cathy? What is this about Miss Longrove? Henderson told me that she was here earlier. Did she do that to you?”
“Do not dare deny it or change the subject!” she cried, stepping back and away from him. It was as if he had something contagious that she feared. “Yes, Miss Longrove was here. She stood right where you are now and told me everything. She is with child; she carriesyourchild! Do not insult my intelligence by saying it is not so. I have always known you are a rake, but this...”
“Cathy, listen—”
“I should have known this would happen,” she interrupted, her voice ragged and thin. “My grandmama warned me about how one woman would never satisfy you. So, I worked hard to secure my place before you replace me with somebody else. I suppose it is fortunate that we never got to consummate this marriage. My ledgers are finally in order; please do not hesitate to ask for an annulment.”
Tristan felt nauseous. Everything that they had tried hard to build, the trust and the bond, was shattered in this moment. It was being poisoned by a venomous woman’s lie.
“Did she do this to you?” he asked, gesturing at her cuts. He could clearly visualize Anne shoving Cathy into the rose hedge. It was easy to imagine the woman doing something so vile. “Did she push you?”
“It does not matter!” Cathy snapped, no longer pretending indifference. The walls crashed, but what Tristan saw beyond was not what he had always hoped for. “Have you not heard a word I said? None of it matters now! This was a marriage born out of scandal. A mistake.”
“Cathy, please—”
“I wish to return to my family, Your Grace. Please make sure that you take responsibility for your actions.”
While words still failed Tristan, Cathy took the opportunity to turn on her heel and run toward the house.
Tristan stood by the briar hedge, overpowered by the crushed roses’ scent. The feeling of failure.
“Your Grace?”
The boy finally returned with the basin and the cloth.
“I am sorry for taking too long, Your Grace,” he apologized.
“It is all right. I believe I also took too long to come back.”
And to tell Cathy everything that he wished for in this marriage.
Chapter 25
Homecomings were supposed to be joyful, but the silence of her family home placed an emphasis on Cathy’s sorrow. But in true Kathleen fashion, she buried herself in the study, giving her ledger more attention than it ever deserved to receive.