“I did. But I know now. And I want you to know too.”
“Christ, Landon.” He rocks back in his chair and stares out the window. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I understand. This life, it’s not for everyone. I think I realized that about you from the moment I took you on as a client. Hollywood just won’t be the same without you.”
“Thanks, Phil.” I nod to him. “I appreciate everything you’ve helped me with over the years. You’re a good man.”
There’s a long moment of silence as he comes to terms with the death of my career. “So, what will you do now?”
I tell him the truth. “I have no fucking clue.”
Fifty feet.
That’s all that separates me from Lane Silvestri. I only know his name because Suzy mumbled it once when she was too high to refer to him as something other than that fucker or the sperm donor.
If I’m being honest, I had my doubts she even knew who my real father was. But looking at him now, throwing the ball for his dog in a posh Los Angeles park, I know it without a doubt. I look just like him.
His wife and kids are sitting on a picnic blanket a few feet away, watching him with pure love and admiration. He was married when Suzy lured him in somehow, and his eldest son is already away at college. Something I learned from the dossier the investigator gathered for me.
It’s strange to think I have two brothers and a sister who don’t even know I exist. They never will. It’s what he wanted, and I have no intention of begging to be in his life. I just wanted to see for myself what he was like. I wanted to know the other half of my DNA, at least from a safe distance.
Lane seems like a decent man. By all accounts, that’s what his file says too. He works hard, and he makes a lot of money, so he enjoys the trappings that come with it. Fast cars, huge estates on both coasts, luxury vacations.
It’s hard not to feel a little bitter when I think about how different my life could have been. I never wanted his money. I just wanted to know him the way his other children do. But I was a mistake. A huge regret he probably always hoped would never come back to haunt him.
I never intended for him to see me here. But when the ball rolls under the bench and the dog comes barreling at me, he turns my way. His strides are long and powerful. He’s tall, like me. Strong and lean like he spends a lot of time in the gym. Gray peppers the sides of his hair, but otherwise, he looks healthy.
I’ve studied his photos, but it’s not the same as seeing someone in person. It’s not the same to witness your own eyes staring back at you. He notices it too when he pauses mid-stride a few feet away. His features pinch together at first, and then, quiet panic washes over him.
“What are you doing here?” he grits out.
He knows exactly who I am.
I choke down the hostility I’m tempted to spew at him because what’s the point? Did I expect anything else?
“Is it a crime to enjoy a nice day in the park?”
He glances over at his wife and waves and then bends down to retrieve the ball, but his eyes don’t leave mine.
“Suzy and I had a deal. Did she send you? Is this about money?”
I close my eyes and drag in a deep breath. He’s a fucking asshole, but he has a good point. What the hell am I doing here?
“Just tell me where to send the check,” he clips out. “Don’t make a scene, and I’ll give you whatever you want.”
I stand and meet his gaze. “I guess she was right about one thing. You really are a fucker.”
His wife calls out to him, and he looks at me pleadingly.
“I don’t want anything from you.” I let him off the hook. “I’ve survived eighteen years without you in my life. I’m sure as fuck not going to expect you to care now.”
I leave him standing there and walk into the park. He’s trailing me, probably about to piss himself when I pass by his wife and kids. I’m sure he expects me to say something, but I wouldn’t—not in front of his children—because they don’t deserve that shit. I don’t have anything to gain by destroying his family. But it doesn’t matter anyway. I can see it on his wife’s face when she looks at me and gasps.
I’m a younger version of him. She can see it, clear as day. That seed is in her head now, and it’s up to her what she decides to do with it. But this will be the first and last time I ever see Lane Silvestri.
26
Landon
Sometimes, life is like an Alanis Morissette song.