I shake my head in denial. “I told you what the doctor said. I think Carson’s just trying to deal with it like we all are. He found his way of coping, and I found mine.”
“And Landon,” she reminds me. “His way of dealing with it is to blame you for everything.”
Her observation stings. And I don’t want to see it that way, but how can I not? He has always been so cryptic about everything. Calling me a liar. A schemer. Telling me I’m just like everyone else. It’s his default defense.
“Carson mentioned he wanted to tell me something.” I steer the subject away from Landon.
“When?” Court’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“In the parking lot after school one day. He was waiting for me by my car, and he was drunk. I didn’t hear him out.”
She considers it for a moment. “You don’t think… it could have been him with the bat?”
“What?” My voice squeaks out. “No, definitely not.”
“How can you be sure?” she argues. “There’s no way to know for sure it wasn’t him or Landon.”
I drag the edge of my fingernail along my palm. I don’t know how to make her understand the way I feel. But sometimes, you just know what you know. Call it intuition, call it whatever, but that guy who hit me wasn’t either of them.
When I don’t respond, Court peppers me with another question instead. “Any word on the investigation?”
“Not much. The guy Theo hired has talked to all the potential witnesses himself, apart from Alexa. He mentioned she’s been evasive, but that doesn’t surprise me. She’s always been like that.”
She mulls this tidbit over, her eyes creasing as she comes to some sort of a conclusion. “That’s odd. I mean, I know she can be flighty, but why wouldn’t she just talk to him?”
“I don’t know. Every time I see her, she practically runs the other direction. I just figured Audrey told her not to speak to me.”
“I gotta say that girl has been acting weird for a while now too.” Court frowns. “But maybe you should try talking to her yourself. Since she was technically the last person there, she could have some helpful information that’s been overlooked.”
“Maybe,” I concede, but honestly, I don’t think Alexa will tell me anything.
I have so many things to worry about right now. It’s hard to prioritize them. I still have to make amends with Jared and find a way to talk to Carson so we can have a real conversation. And there’s one other thing. For my own sanity, I just need to know Landon is okay. Even if I never see him again, it would make me feel better knowing that he’s out there somewhere, and he’s alright. I’m hoping Carson can at least tell me that much.
“Do you think Landon will ever come back?” Court seems to read my thoughts.
My heart thumps a sad little protest, and I shake my head. “I don’t know. But probably not.”
25
Landon
Los Angeles never changes. On any given day, you could walk down the street and see the same bright-eyed hopefuls who came here to make it big. They haven’t been chewed up and spit out by the machine yet. They can’t smell the filth and greed poisoning the air. But, in time, they will.
They all want something. Fame. Fortune. Purpose.
Want. Want. Want.
I remember being chained to that treadmill too. All I wanted was my mother’s love. It’s funny how time and distance bring everything into perspective. After today, I doubt I’ll ever have a reason to come back here again.
Phillip’s office is in a building on Wilshire Boulevard. Clearly, he wants too. But I can’t fault him for not knowing any better. He’s lived here his whole life. He was driven from a young age, lured in by the glitz and glamour. He works hard, and he lives well, all things considered. Other than the fact his Bluetooth is permanently attached to his ear, and he’ll probably work himself into an early grave from the constant pressure of this job. When that happens, I’ll remember him as an ally when I needed one most.
“Oh, Landon.” His receptionist shoots out of her chair as if there’s a bomb in the seat cushion. “I didn’t know you were coming in.”
She frantically combs back a few pieces of stray hair in her face, blinking at me like a deer in the headlights. Grace is usually well put together, but it’s obvious my arrival shocked the hell out of her. Given that nobody has been able to find me for the last two months, I’m not surprised by her response.
“Is Phillip in?” I glance down the hall.
“Yes, of course.” She waves me forward. “Follow me.”