“At least, why he used to.” I shrug. The truth is, I haven’t heard from Sebastian in weeks, and I have a horrible feeling in my gut I never will again. From what I’ve gathered, he and his father weren’t close, but it’s obvious his death has shaken him, nonetheless.
“You never know.” Sybil rubs my back. “Things could get better.”
“They could.” I offer her a watery smile. “But honestly, my well of hope has run dry. I think I just need to be done now.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
STELLA
“ARE YOU OKAY?”Sybil rubs my back as I vomit into the toilet for the second time this evening.
“I’m fine.” I wave her away. “Go have fun. I just need to rest.”
“I’m not leaving you here like this.” She kneels beside me and worries her lip between her teeth. “You’ve been sick since I got back. I think you need to see the doctor.”
“I don’t,” I protest. “It’s just the stress of everything.”
She props her hip against the sink and waits for me while I wash my face and rinse out my mouth. “Stella, I don’t want to ask this, but I think I have to.”
“What?” I stare at my empty reflection in the mirror.
“Did Mr. Carter… you know, wrap it before he tapped it?”
My hollow stomach rumbles, and I shake my head as I confirm what I’ve already suspected. The thing I’ve been too terrified to admit to myself.
“Oh my God,” she shrieks. “We have to go get a pregnancy test.”
“Could you say that any louder?” I narrow my eyes at her.
“I’m sorry, but this is crazy. I can’t believe you haven’t even thought to—”
“I have thought,” I cut her off. “But I’m already pretty sure, Sybil. I don’t know what to do.”
Fat teardrops splash against my cheeks, and she pulls me in for a hug with a promise that everything is going to be okay.
“No matter what, I’ll always be here for you,” she assures me.
“You’re all I have.” I hang my head and slip a palm over my growing belly. It’s already March. It’s been three months since I’ve seen or heard from Sebastian. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to hide it anymore, and I’ve never been so scared in my life.
“Let’s go.” Sybil loops her arm through mine and tugs me out of the bathroom.
“Where?” I ask.
“I have a doctor on speed dial,” she tells me. “My dad says I can see her anytime I want. I’m taking you to her.”
I almost hit the brakes, but I know Sybil is right. I can’t put this off any longer. I need to bite the bullet, and then I have to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.
“SAY SOMETHING,” Sybil pleads.
I stare numbly at the paperwork I brought back to the dorm with me. “Like what?”
“Anything. You’re making me nervous.”
I gaze out the window, imagining what would happen if I saw Sebastian running by right now. What would he say if he knew that in five months, I’d be having his baby?
“Do you think I can make it to graduation without anyone finding out?” I ask.
She eyeballs my belly. “You can hardly tell right now. I think if you wear cardigans and sweaters during the cold months, you’ll be fine. But I don’t know about when it gets warmer. Regardless, we’ll figure it out.”