“Good.” He bites into my neck. “You can love it on your knees while you deep throat my cock.”
As it turns out, he means that quite literally. After taking my clothes off, Sebastian gets into the holiday spirit by face-fucking me on my knees. Once that’s out of his system, he takes me against the floor-to-ceiling windows and makes love to me in front of the fire. It’s no small wonder that I’m exhausted, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want to feel his pulse inside of me until I turn to dust.
We spend the rest of the afternoon naked with my head against his chest while he drapes his arm over me casually. It feels comfortable. It almost feels too perfect, and when his phone shatters the silence between us, it turns out that I’m right.
At first, he ignores it, humming his frustration as he traces the lines of my body, which is admittedly a little softer than I’d like it to be. If my mother saw me now, she’d probably accuse me of stress eating and make arrangements to send me to fat camp on the first available bus. But Sebastian doesn’t seem to mind, or even notice, as far as I can tell.
His phone rings again, and this time, he reluctantly staggers to his feet and glares at the screen.
“Yes?” he answers briskly, glancing back at me before he disappears down the hall, shutting the bedroom door behind him.
I try not to let it bother me, but I’m curious who’s on the line. While he’s busy with his conversation, I help myself to his bag, poking around for one of his tee shirts I can throw on. Preferably something that already smells like him. I hit the jackpot at the bottom, but his tee shirt isn’t the only thing I find. The same necklace from his medicine cabinet is in there too. And this time, when I pick it up, I notice a small engraving on the side that I missed before.Katherine Carter.
My stomach flips as I stuff the evidence back into the bag and glance at the door down the hall. It’s still closed, and I can’t hear Sebastian. I don’t know how long I reasonably have before he comes back, but now that I have this information, I’m dying to Google that name. I scramble for my phone and pull up an incognito browser, but before I can even click enter, the door opens, and Sebastian appears. He stares right through me, and I don’t know what’s changed, but it’s obvious from his posture that something has.
“Are you okay?” I ask hesitantly.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he gathers his discarded clothing from the couch and begins to dress. In a matter of a few minutes, everything has completely changed. His face is a wall of apathy, and I don’t like it. Already, I can feel him slipping away, out of my grasp, and back into the dark hole he’s exiled himself to.
“Tell me about the necklace,” I blurt recklessly. Desperation has taken the wheel now, and I’m merely a passenger on this train heading for disaster. As soon as Sebastian turns his gaze on me, I know I’ve made a fatal mistake. With one simple statement, I’ve woken the lumbering beast inside of him.
“What?” he snarls.
My hand trembles as I point toward his bag. “The necklace you brought. The one with Katherine Carter’s name on it.”
“What were you doing in my bag?” Vacant eyes cut through me, and it’s too late. I’ve already lost him.
“Please, Sebastian. You can’t do this to me again. Talk to me.”
“Talk to you?” he mocks. “There’s nothing to talk about, Stella. Don’t you get that? This was a mistake. You need to go back to Loyola. Call a taxi and take the afternoon ferry.”
He completes his cruel tirade by yanking cash from his wallet and tossing it onto the couch like I’m a common whore. I want to say something, but I can’t. I can’t even breathe. I’m pretty sure this time, Sebastian Carter has finally broken me.
FOR THREE MISERABLE DAYS, I take shelter at Sebastian’s house on campus. I’m not proud to admit that I resorted to sneaking in through an unlocked window, but I just know this is where I need to be. He won’t answer my texts or calls, and I’m determined to speak with him when he returns. When he finally does, it’s late, and he catches me asleep in his bed.
“What are you doing?”
The sound of his voice jolts me awake, and I scramble to my feet, wracking my sleep-addled brain for the speech I prepared.
“Hi.” I take a tentative step toward him, hopeful that he’s in a better place than he was three days ago.
He doesn’t look as happy to see me. In fact, it appears he’s completely re-erected the ice fortress around himself. But I know if I had a chisel, beneath all that anger, I would find nothing but raw pain.
“I know about your father,” I blurt. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian. I read the news, and I understand now that’s why you disappeared that morning.”
“What the fuck are you doing in my house?” His words hit me like shrapnel, and even though I told myself I’d be prepared for this, I’m definitely not.
“Seriously?” I fold my arms across my chest to hide my nerves. “You’ve just spent an entire week inside me. Don’t act like I’m crossing some invisible fucking line now. I want you to talk to me. I need you to talk to me.”
He turns his back on me, and my determination begins to crack. As much as I want to believe we can get past this, I don’t know if I’ll ever completely break down his walls.
“Detention, Miss LeClaire,” he barks with the authority of my teacher. “Now.”
His words stun me into silence. He’s resorted to treating me as if I’m nothing more than a student, and I can’t help wondering if this is another test. If I stay here, I fail. If I go, maybe there’s still hope. So even though I’m fully aware he can’t rightfully give me detention on winter break, I turn on my heel and head for the building anyway.
The classroom is unlocked, and I take a seat at my usual desk, waiting for him to come. Ten minutes pass. Then twenty. Then thirty. After an hour, he does show up, only to open the door, look at me, and leave again. Another two hours later, he returns and takes a seat at the desk. His face is a mask of indifference and it feels like we’re back to the beginning all over again. Every hard-won ounce of progress has imploded, and I’m at a loss. Silence fills the space between us, and I hold out for as long as I can. But after the five-hour mark, I’m no longer able to hold my bodily functions.
To my utter humiliation, my bladder empties itself all over the seat and drips down onto the floor. Sebastian glances up with a bored expression on his face, and it’s at this point, he finally speaks.