My dick is so hard I could fuck her for hours and never be satisfied, but this was never about me. Once she is satisfied, I rise to my feet and kiss her again, softer this time. A kiss I hope conveys the words I can never bring myself to say.
I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry that everyone has let you down.
She melts beneath my touch, and I don’t want to let her go. Finding my voice is a challenge, but somehow, I manage.
“Time to return to class, Stella.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
STELLA
WHENSYBILand I arrive back at the dorms after dinner, neither of us are in the least surprised to find that my wardrobe has been ransacked and all my clothes are in the middle of the floor, covered in flour.
“You know this is probably just the beginning,” Sybil groans. “She’s going to be after you like a dog with a bone now. Nobody humiliates Louisa.”
“I didn’t even humiliate her,” I growl as I gather up some of my things and begin to shove them into the laundry basket. “She did it to herself.”
“Yes, but in her mind, she can’t let you get away with that. Same with Mr. Carter. Guaranteed he has a target on his back now too. But I gotta give the guy mad props for calling her out like that. It’s about time someone finally did it.”
“Well, she’d have to be insane to go after him,” I remark absently.
“I think you mean that the other way around.” Sybil stoops down to help me gather my clothes.
“What do you mean?” I glance up at her.
“Louisa thinks she owns this school because she practically does. Her father donates a shitload of money every year for Loyola to put up with her. They even bought the new science building, which I figure must be worth at least a million. That’s why everybody turns a blind eye to her catty little comments. The staff are all secretly aware that if it comes down to them or the money, it’s always going to be the money. Mr. Carter wouldn’t be the first teacher that Louisa got fired.”
“Are you serious?” A knot forms in my throat. “She can really do that?”
Sybil shrugs. “I’m just saying it’s happened before. I don’t know what will happen this time, but he really stuck his neck on the chopping block today.”
Clothes forgotten, I flop down onto my bed and worry my lip between my teeth. Up until now, Louisa has just been a thorn in my side. But it’s an entirely different matter if she’s messing with Sebastian.
“What can I do?” I ask Sybil. “She’s not going to stop.”
“Honestly, I have no idea.” She shakes her head. “You could fight fire with fire, but that means stooping to her level.”
“I don’t have time for that.” As it stands, my schedule is already overwhelming enough. And I don’t want to resort to immature antics to deal with Louisa.
“I know.” Sybil offers me an apologetic smile. “In the meantime, I think you just need to be cautious. The last thing you want to do is give her more ammunition. So, be careful if you’re sneaking around with a certain teacher. She would call you both out so fast your head would spin.”
My chest squeezes as I imagine the possible fallout. “You’re right. We need to be careful.”
BETWEEN DEALING with the public shame of my father’s crime and Sebastian’s constant mood swings, I’m exhausted. I spent the entirety of the day deflecting questions about my family from other students and trying to keep my head down. The headmistress even took it upon herself to address me privately, asking if I was okay.
I told her that I am, but that really isn’t true. I’m hanging on by a thread and pretending that I’m not is harder than I thought it would be. Despite what my dad has done, I miss him. And even though my mother told me she wouldn’t be around, it still hurts that I haven’t heard a single thing from her. The only silver lining is that my phone was officially disconnected today, so at least I can’t readily search out the news articles.
My entire future is up in the air, and it’s all so overwhelming. Right now, I’m supposed to be planning for college and what I’m going to do once I no longer have the safety of Loyola to fall back on. But how can I do that if I’m barely managing to handle the current circumstances?
I curl up in my bed and try to sleep, but it doesn’t come. I have this horrifying notion that Louisa will come crashing through my door at any moment like the Kool-Aid man and try to ruin what little sanity I have left. But when my door opens tonight, it isn’t Louisa standing there. It’s my other tormentor. The one I can’t seem to make sense of no matter how hard I try. And stupidly, I take comfort in the fact that he’s here. I feel slightly less crazy whenever he proves that he’s thinking of me too.
“Hi,” I murmur, though all I really want to do is blurt out a million questions. What is he doing here? Is he going to use me and leave again? Because tonight, I really can’t handle it. I will break for real, and I’m so terrified he doesn’t care.
“Shh.” He closes the door behind him and slips off his coat, and then his shoes. It’s an unexpected move, and I watch him in nervous anticipation to see what he will do next. I have no idea what to think when he slips into the tiny bed beside me.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper, too afraid to move for fear he might disappear like some figment of my imagination.
His response is to stroke my hair and kiss my forehead. A gesture I wouldn’t even believe Sebastian Carter was capable of if I hadn’t witnessed it myself. He pulls me against him and wraps his arm around me.