Silence descends over us, and I regret the bitterness that still colors my voice. Remington deserves everything he’s accomplished and more, and I don’t begrudge him for that. But this was never how things were supposed to play out. We weren’t supposed to meet in a bar and discuss our lives like two strangers. I was meant to be right there beside him, chasing a ball across the field and living my dream while Katie cheered us on in the stands.
Life is a bitch.
“I heard about your father.” Remington waits until the waitress delivers our drinks to drop the bomb. “I’m sorry, Sebastian.”
“I’m not.” I take a long pull of the smooth whisky. “I think that’s what the new age types like to call Karma doing her job.”
Remington sighs, and I’m certain he’s probably second-guessing his decision to come sit down here with me. But he doesn’t leave.
“He said you’re still teaching at Loyola,” he adds. “I hear you’re even coaching the soccer team up there. They’re lucky to have you.”
“It’s more of a recreational sport at the Academy,” I reply. “They enjoy it, but it’s all about competitive resume stuffing.”
“Ahh, yes.” He nods. “I remember those days.”
My eyes drift to his hand, noting the ringless finger. “I see one of your crazy fans hasn’t tied you down yet.”
Tension creeps into his face, an obvious sign this is a conversation he’d rather avoid, but he answers, nonetheless. Remington has always been honest to a fault. “No, but I am dating someone. It’s starting to get serious.”
He waits for my rebuttal, probably expecting that I’ll leap across the table and bust his kneecaps. But I’ve lost the will to make anyone else suffer in misery beside me. “That’s good, Rem. Katie would have wanted you to move on.”
He visibly flinches at the reference, even though it was meant sincerely. His fingers tighten around the glass and he stares into the amber liquid, swirling it around in circles.
“It’s been hard. I’m not going to say otherwise. It’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I felt like I could really date again. And this might sound weird, but I think Katie would actually like her.”
“No, she wouldn’t.” I snort. “She would have ripped her throat out.”
Remington laughs, and the humor helps to dissolve some of the lingering tension between us, but only a little. For a split second, it feels good to be around him again. To laugh and talk about the good old days like both of our lives weren’t torn apart.
“She probably would have,” he agrees. “You Carters always did run hot tempered.”
“Fire and ice,” I correct. That’s what Katie used to say.
“That’s right.” He smirks. “She was the fire, and you were the ice.”
“At least some things don’t change.” I shrug.
The waitress returns with two more drinks, which quickly turns into three. Remington and I fall into comfortable conversation, bullshitting about life and skirting around anything too delicate. Eventually, he checks his watch and calls time on our blast from the past.
“My girl’s meeting me here soon,” he says. “But I’d love to catch up again.”
“Sure.” I nod in my half-intoxicated haze. “We can make that happen.”
He arches an eyebrow at me. “You know, in order for that to work, you actually need to return my phone calls.”
“Oh, right. That’s how it works.”
He leans back and pulls out his wallet, unaware that I already slipped the waitress my card. “That is how it works.” When he looks up at me again, his eyes are cloudy and emotional. A trait that hasn’t changed over time. “I get why you avoid me, Sebastian, and I know what you’re doing. Withdrawing from life, taking yourself out of the game. It all makes sense. But maybe it’s time to stop and consider how long you can reasonably stay on this path of self-destruction.”
“Why change what works?” I challenge bitterly.
“Because Katie wouldn’t want this for you.” He stares into the vacant void of my soul. “This isn’t you, man. You’re better than this. I know you wanted to play soccer. I know you had a dream. But you can do so much more with your life, and she would want that for you.”
“She isn’t here to tell me what she wants,” I remind him. “So, I think I have to call bullshit on your theories.”
He shakes his head, but luckily, his girlfriend has arrived to save me from the therapy session. When she approaches the table, I notice that she’s the opposite of Katie, and I wonder if that was intentional. I already know nobody will ever compare to her. Rem knows it too, but I meant it when I said I was happy for him. I just wish she wasn’t looking at me right now with that pitiful expression on her face when he introduces us.
“Carrie, this is Sebastian Carter.”