“Turn around.”
The command itself is as precise as anything Sebastian would say, but uncertainty still lingers as I hesitantly obey. He hasn’t answered me. I don’t know who he is, and I won’t until I smell him. Keeping the clutch in my line of sight, I wait with stuttered breaths as he draws nearer. The first thing I feel is his warmth against my back, and it sends a shiver straight down to my toes.
“Sebastian?” I whisper.
Still no response. His fingers feather over my shoulder, drawing my hair aside before he drags his nose down the length of my throat, inhaling me. Goosebumps erupt along my skin as I practically melt into the familiarity of this touch. Without a doubt, there is no other man on this planet who would breathe me in like Sebastian Carter does. And if that weren’t confirmation enough, the lingering notes of his cologne hit me like a sedative.
It’s him.It’s really him.
I relax into his touch and release a lungful of anxiety as his skilled fingers begin to explore my body. His fists curl into my dress and haul me back against him as his lips assault the delicate flesh of my throat. A tortured sound escapes me when I feel the solid ridge of his erection digging into the base of my spine.
“Sebastian,” I chant, this time out of certainty, not question.
He responds by unzipping my dress and sliding it down my body until it pools on the floor. I’m not wearing a bra, and I can feel his sharp intake of air behind me as he realizes that. The only barriers left between us are my red lace panties and his suit.
I don’t dare move. I don’t even want to breathe as he unbuttons his suit coat and tosses it aside. Anticipation thrums in my veins as I realize this is really happening. Sebastian Carter isn’t just saving me; he’s claiming me. When his palm slides between my thighs and cups my pussy, a thousand volts of electricity pulse through my body. I crane my neck to the side to breathe him in, leaning back into his solid frame as his teeth nip at my collarbone. I’m soaked for him, high on him, but when he paws at my breasts, it’s all over.
I start to beg, and his fist tangles in my hair in a silent warning. I want to hear his voice. I want to feel his breath against me as he speaks. But he doesn’t give me that. It feels like another punishment, and I have no doubt that it is. He hates me for making him do this. His resentment is written in the unyielding hardness of his body. He loathes the fact that he wants me, and even as he touches me, he wishes he could stop.
It’s intoxicating to think I have this power over him. This man is ten years my senior, and everything about this relationship is the definition of reckless. But I want him to drink the Kool-Aid. I want him to drown in the chemistry he can no longer deny. I want Sebastian more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, and tonight, I don’t care if he knows it.
“Sebastian.” His name leaves my lips like a prayer when he kneels behind me and drags my panties over my hips and down my thighs. The thin lace material falls around my ankles as he pushes my body forward, and I collapse onto the bed, ass still in the air. His face is so close I can feel his breath between my thighs, warming me as I curl my fingers into the bedding. His hands come to rest on my ass, kneading into me as his nose grazes the seam of my sex. I cry out at the sensation and begin to tremble when his fingers dig into me and force my legs farther apart.
There is a moment of stillness in which I can only assume he’s considering the strength of his resolve. Once he crosses this barrier, there’s no going back. We both know it. This living, breathing animal of lust between us is as illicit as Eve’s apple. But ultimately, Sebastian chooses to indulge his sinful desires when he buries his face between my thighs and lashes at me with his tongue.
I wiggle in his grasp, crying out in shock and pleasure as his tongue invades the most private part of my body. He eats me like a man who’s been starving for ten thousand years, and I live for every second of it. At times, it’s so intense I beg him to release me, but his torture is relentless, and it’s only when my legs give out that the orgasm rips through my body like a tidal wave.
Blood rushes to my head and waves of dizziness crash over me. I’m little more than a rag doll when he flips me over and pulls me into the middle of the bed. I study his profile, wishing I could see all of him, but he turns away and removes the rest of his clothes. Stripping the articles off one by one, he lays them onto the desk and then blows out all but one of the candles in the room. It’s so dark I can only see the faintest hint of his silhouette when the bed dips beside me.
His scent engulfs me as he grips my thighs and spreads them apart, opening me up for his body. Vaguely, I recall our agreement about being safe, and I trust that he’s wearing a condom since I made it clear I’m not on birth control.
He kneels between my parted thighs and pauses there for a moment. I want to know his thoughts. What is going through his mind as he lingers on the threshold of no return? There isn’t time to ask. In the matter of a second, his lips crash into mine with a growl that tells me he lost whatever battle he was fighting. I breathe him in. I drink from his lips and curl my fingers into the hot flesh of his back, our hips bumping against each other as we desperately try to align our bodies. He kisses with an art that only Sebastian could possess. The art of a man who knows what he wants and how he wants it. I know he will fuck me like a man too.
Between ragged breaths, he reaches down and nudges his cock against the sanctuary that could only ever belong to him. I bury my face deep in his neck and inhale. God, I will never get enough of this. He’s already ruined me for anyone else. Does he know that? Does he know in my mind, I’m already his?
There are no words spoken between us when he thrusts his hips forward and shatters my virginity. There are only stuttered breaths and teeth and nails and pain. I invite the pain. I open wide for his pain. I pull his face back to mine and sob into his mouth once he’s all the way inside me. Relief is all I feel. He’s a part of me now, my body bending to his needs, slowly giving way. I’m soaked for him, and that helps, but it doesn’t completely take the edge off. Nothing will. The only thing to do is accept it. As far as Sebastian Carter is concerned, I have no doubts there will always be pleasure and pain.
He rolls his hips, and I cling to him like the needy fiend I am, desperate for his every heartbeat, his every sound. They roll from his lips so freely, grunts and muttered curses. He pauses then starts again, then pauses, trying to rein in his control. I want him to lose it. I want him to lose his goddamned mind just like I have as he fucks me into the bed.
“Sebastian.” I reach out to touch his face, and he swiftly pins my wrists above my head. A sound of protest leaves my lips, but he doesn’t care. He’s in control. Always in control. And he proves that as he begins to work my clit with his free hand, making me shatter all over again.
That’s when the real fucking begins. It’s animalistic. It’s pure fire. His hips drive in and out of me, smashing against my body as our lips clash together. I can taste blood from his teeth, and the salt of our combined sweat. I savor those explosions across my tongue as I wrap my legs around him and squeeze him deeper into my body, trying to hold him forever. But nothing lasts forever, and he is testament to that when he throws his head back and roars out his release. It sounds like ten years of pent-up tension just detonated inside his body, and when he releases my hands, he’s too exhausted to fight when I stroke his back and hold him against me just a little longer.
I want to stay like this for eternity. I want to fall asleep with him and wake up next to those dark green eyes, and then do this all over again. But he has other plans, just as I feared he would.
He pulls away from me and leaves me there while he disappears into the bathroom. I can hear him cleaning himself up, and when he returns, he uses a hand towel to wipe between my legs. I allow him to do this even though it feels like the first step to a dreaded goodbye.
Tension has returned to his body, and the deafening silence is almost crippling when he retreats and begins to dress. I wait for something from his lips.Anything.But the only thing he leaves is a card on the desk. My pride won’t let me ask him to stay, and his already has him walking out the door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
STELLA
AFTERIMANAGEDto put myself back together again, I took the car service, courtesy of the card he left on the desk. Back at the dorms, I curl up in my bed and don’t leave again until Sybil comes bounding in on Sunday afternoon.
“Are you okay?” she demands, eyeballing the mess that is my hair.
“I’m good,” I lie.