His reaction is small. But it’s there. The slightest flash of worry darkens his eyes before he masks it again.
“Isa, I do not know what you are speaking of.”
"Yes, you do. He was tortured. Because of you. You took him from one hell and sent him to another. He loved you. How could you do that to him?"
"I had no choice. Isa, you don't understand."
"I understand that you betrayed him. All those years, you told me I could never meet him. That he was dangerous. But in reality, he was only the monster you created."
"I was following orders," he says. "You don't understand how the agency works. If I had not followed those orders, I would be dead. And then what would become of you?"
"Then I would have at least known that my father was an honorable man."
My words cut him, and I can't hold back the emotion in my voice. The shame. The anger. The grief.
I want to take the words back as soon as I say them. I hate this. I hate being so conflicted. Living between love and hate. First with Javi. And now with my father.
"Isa," he pleads. "Forgive me. I'm so sorry."
He pulls me into his arms, and I don't fight this time. It hurts so much. I want to forgive him, but I don't know how I can. How can I when I still don't know the truth about Javi's death.
"Have you heard anything more about River?" I ask.
My father’s arms stiffen around me, and I pull away.
"Tell me," I demand. "You have to tell me."
"Let me come inside," he implores.
I let him into the parlor and shut the door behind him. He gestures to the kitchen, and we take a seat at the counter. I don't offer him a drink. The time for pleasantries is over.
"There is much more to River than I knew," my father begins.
"Javi trusted him," I say. "He trusted him with his life. With my life. He thought he was his friend."
"I trusted him too," my father answers. "I didn't realize how deep this went."
"What do you mean?"
"River is employed by the agency."
I shake my head. That can't be right. Javi would have known.
"They've known each other since the sanitarium," I argue.
"I know," my father replies. "That's why his cover worked so well. He is a handler of sorts. That was his role all along. He was inserted into Javi's life at a young age to build a relationship of trust."
"But why?" I ask. "Why would they do that?"
"Because Javi was a valuable asset," he answers. "One that, in the right hands, could have been a dangerous weapon. If he ever decided to act on his own, to work for another agency, it could have devastated the entire house of cards."
"So, you're telling me the agency is behind his death? That doesn’t make sense. Why would they hurt him?"
"I don't know.”
I want to believe him, but I don’t know that I can.
"I know River cared for him," my father tells me. "That wasn't a lie. I know he cared for him."