He kisses me again. And then releases me.
For a moment, I don’t move. I don’t want to. I want to stay here with him, like this. I don’t understand it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I want him this way. But I can’t control it, and I can no longer deny it.
Javi is tired. His eyes are heavy and relaxed. But the longer we sit here, staring at one another, the more the tension creeps back into his body all over again. So I move from him. Slowly.
I clean his wound again and then reach for his jocks. He grabs my wrist.
“I’ll do it.”
He doesn’t want me to touch him again. Because he’s exhausted and afraid he won’t be able to control himself if I do. It’s there in his eyes. And I had no idea how open his eyes could be until now.
"You should get some rest," I tell him. "I will make something for dinner."
I turn to go, and he stops me again with his hand.
"Bella?"
He looks up at me, anxious.
"Thank you."
Chapter Twenty-Six
Imake Spaghetti for dinner. River digs in as soon as he smells it. Javi is a different story.
When I take the tray to the conservatory, he is still sleeping. I hover, unsure whether to wake him or not. He senses me before I can make a decision and his eyes open slowly.
He is defensive again. Wearing the sweats I brought him earlier along with a hoodie that I didn’t bring him. It is obvious he has made his own way to the closet, and I make a mental note to take care of that problem as soon as I leave him tonight.
"Are you hungry?" I ask.
He tries to sit up, wincing as he props himself against the headboard.
"What is it?"
"Spaghetti."
"I don't eat spaghetti," he says.
"Have you ever tried it?"
He doesn't reply.
I sit down beside him, and he reaches for the tray. I pull it back.
"Let me help you."
"I don't need your help."
"Then you don't eat."
He growls, and I ignore him. I couldn't imagine him attempting to eat this himself after the way I saw him eat before.
I twirl some pasta on the fork and bring it to his lips. He's still staring at me. Being stubborn.
"Open."
He opens, reluctantly. I feed him and tell him to chew slowly. He listens this time, watching me carefully. When he swallows, I ask him how he likes it.