"Do what?" he asks. "You look fine to me."
"I don't want to be here," I bark. "Please, if you have any morals at all... please just let me go."
He is quiet for a moment. I think he might actually be considering it. Until he laughs.
"Do you know where I met Javi?"
"No."
"In the psych ward," he says, twirling a finger around his head. "That should tell you I'm loco, little Bella."
"You met him in the sanitarium?"
Suddenly, I'm less concerned with my escape and more interested in what he has to say.
"After he killed his mother?"
"Yep."
His reply is matter of fact. Unbothered. And I find myself wondering about him too. If he doesn't seem to mind that Javi killed his mother, I can only imagine what he was in there for.
"You know what I think?" River asks.
"What?"
"I think you like him. I think you like the mystery of him. The dangerous man beneath the hood. Have you seen him yet?"
I open my mouth to deny it. But River laughs.
"Spare me. You can lie to yourself, princess. But you were worried about him leaving you here with the big bad wolf because you feel safer with him."
"I just want to leave," I tell him.
"Do you?" he asks. "Do you really?"
"Yes."
"And go back to what? That glamorous life you hated so much? Your pervert manager who couldn't keep his mitts off you?"
"It's not any different than Javi. I've traded one hell for another."
But even as I say the words, they feel like a lie. I hate it. I hate that I am so confused about Javi. I don’t understand why I feel things when he touches me. Why I dream about him sometimes. Or why I lie awake at night in my bed, listening to see if he will come down the hall to my room.
River can see this weakness inside of me. And I’m certain Javi can too.
"I'm going to go read," I mutter.
River reaches for another apple and nods. But when I enter the hallway, his words stop me.
"How do you know?"
I turn and look at him.
"What?"
"How do you know he killed his mother?"
Javi has been gonefor four days. It feels like a year.