For two minutes, he stands there. Quiet. Watching me. Judging me.
I hate him so much. But then he comes to sit beside me, this tormentor of mine. And he becomes my solace too. Taking me in his arms and holding me. Rubbing my back and kissing my temple.
It is so much what I need that my mind can’t comprehend this is the same man who just inflicted the pain. Because I am broken. All I can do is cling to the comfort.
Bleeding more of my sanity.
My pride.
My dignity.
He is stripping me bare with his methods. Destroying me piece by piece. And he makes no apologies for it. I am certain he feels no regret. His next words only prove me right.
“You are mine to play with, beauty,” he says. “I can do whatever I want because you belong to me.”
I sniffle and allow my hair to fall in a veil around my face, shielding my eyes from this monster who torments me so. But it does not help. He is not finished. He tips my chin upright and forces my gaze back to him.
“Now thank me,” he demands. “Thank me for making you come.”
I stare at him in disbelief. Horrified. The very idea is so disgusting to me all I want to do is spit in his face. And yet, the words come out of my mouth.
Proving only one thing.
My mind is a prisoner now too.
And I am merely a puppet.
Chapter Twelve
Ihad hopedto find the conservatory lacking so that I could use the excuse to leave this room. To make a dash for freedom.But I was misguided by this thought because the conservatory has most of the things I would need to leave the room for.
Javi has thought of everything.
My own toiletries await me in the bathroom. I don't know how many of my most private moments he has watched from his cameras, but if I thought I could forget that for even a second, I was wrong. This is the cold, hard reminder.
Upon further exploration, I find a mini bar stocked with bottles of water. Water that I drink so greedily, I end up with a stomachache. But perhaps the greatest discovery is what I find at the far end of the conservatory. An entire library.
A library in the middle of paradise. And if it weren't also my prison, I might cry at the sheer beauty of this incredible sanctuary that Javi keeps hidden from the world.
I've never seen so many books in all my life.I've never seen such a grand home in all my life.The Victorian architecture, the plush furniture, the stained-glass windows and antique conversation pieces- they are all things that speak to me. Things I would have dreamed of one day having in my own home.
In the back of my mind, I wonder if this is intentional. If he wants me to love this beautiful room where he holds me captive.If it is a conspiracy or mere chance that when the sky falls at night, it casts a blue light over everything inside and the stars shine through the ceiling to dance on the floor below.
Is it all by design?
It gives me hope, and yet it confuses me.
There is not even a remote possibility that Javi cares about how I feel. I can’t make sense of his motivations. Why has he been watching me? What does he want me for? The mystery only becomes more muddled as my time goes on here. But it feels important. If I can understand what drives him, then I can find a way to get past it.
It's my only hope.
I must get to know the real Javi. The one that hides beneath the shadows and the hood and the wild beard.
And until then, I must bide my time.
Javi comes againat lunch to deliver a sandwich, and like my meals before, he tells me I must earn it. I don’t have to ask him how because he came prepared. With a cup of dry rice.
He makes me kneel on the grains for twenty minutes before he allows me to eat. He watches me the entire time. Silent. Brooding. Cloaked in darkness and secrets.