She grinned. ‘Good.’
But it wasn’t good to wait. He checked the hallway again. It was clear. So he gestured her on before he headed to his own cabin. She checked on her father. He was sleeping as was Grace on the floor beside him.
She woke her sister and sent her to bed. ‘He will sleep soundly now,’ she said. ‘You don’t need to lie here on the floor like a dog.’
Grace flashed her a sleepy smile. ‘I have slept in worse places.’
They both had, but there was no need to do it now. ‘Go on,’ she said, gently pushing her sister out the door. ‘I’ll stay with him a while. Maybe even take a walk up top.’
‘Can’t sleep?’ Grace asked after a huge yawn. ‘You should run the sails with me. That will make you too tired to think.’
‘No, thank you,’ she said. ‘My leg won’t work well up there.’ Then she pushed her sister towards their berth.
She waited for a time. Long enough that she was sure that her father slept deeply. Long enough that Grace would be sound asleep. And long enough for her mind to question her choices.
Did she truly want to give her virginity to Lord Domac? It was a rarity that one such as her would still have such a prized thing. But she had been quick and careful for most of her life. And she’d also pretended to be a boy.
She truly ought to wait, but she wanted it to be her choice. She wanted the man to be her choice. She knew nothing was assured in her future. Why not give in to what she wanted now? And if it bound Cedric to her, then so much the better.
When she judged it time, she crept the two steps to his cabin and slipped inside the darkened interior. There was little room between the spice crates and his cot. Just the narrow crack as she crawled into his bed.
‘Shut the door,’ she heard him whisper.
She did, startled to realise that she was so distracted that she’d forgotten so elemental a thing.
‘Take off your clothes,’ he commanded.
There was barely room to kneel on his bed, much less strip. But he had been living in such a state for months now. She could hardly complain. And besides, it made her pulse race to hear commands through the dark. She imagined such things, and it was all the more thrilling—terrifying—exciting to unbutton her gown and push it aside. Her shift came next, her nipples tightening painfully in the cooler air. And then, awkwardly, her slippers. It was too hot to wear stockings, and so very soon, she knelt on his bed completely naked.
‘I wish I dared light a candle,’ he murmured.
‘I can’t see you,’ she said.
‘I am here, backed into my little corner.’
‘Are you…’ She didn’t know the wordnakedin English. ‘Are you like me?’
His snort was filled with derision. ‘I am nothing like you, my dear. I am as corrupt as they come.’
She knew that wasn’t true. She knew corruption, had seen the men who took and destroyed. He was not such a man.
‘You know very little of ugly men,’ she whispered. ‘I do. And I have chosen you.’
He was silent for a long moment. And then she felt his fingers stroking across her arm. ‘Thank you for that,’ he whispered. ‘No matter what happens between us, I will cherish your gift until my dying day.’
‘I do not give it lightly,’ she said.
‘I know.’
He drew her forwards into the dark alcove. She could see nothing, but that only made the sensations all the more overwhelming. She felt the tug of his arm as she maneuvered her way in. She felt him twist her shoulders and struggled to move where he wanted.
‘What do you want?’ she asked, confused as he faced her back towards the door.
‘You,’ he answered. ‘And your sister’s dowry.’
She winced at the mention of money. That was not why she was here.
He stroked a hand up her back and she shivered at the caress. ‘I must have that, Lucy. I cannot marry you.’