She shook her head. ‘You have always wanted me, Cedric. We have wanted each other.’ But he’d refused her so many times.
‘I didn’t think I was worthy of you. I didn’t think you could possibly want me. Not unless I had money to support you, money to take care of my responsibilities. Money for love.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I’ve been such an idiot.’
‘You have plenty of money now.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ He looked at her, his eyes twinkling with merriment. ‘Don’t you see? It never mattered!’
He was trying to tell her something. She wanted to shake him until he said something she could understand. But he had to find the words his own way. And so she held silent and watched as he gently wrapped her hand in his.
‘Money for love. That’s what my father taught us. That money was the only way to love. When he was flush, he rained gifts upon us. We felt loved. And then he left, looking for more money. Somehow, I thought the two were the same.’
‘I’ve never cared how much money you had.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘But I never believed that was true.’
‘But you do now?’
He caressed her face. ‘I believe that love is entirely separate from money. That I need love. And without it, I will be as pitiful as my father. I will chase coin until I am as lost and empty as he.’
Her heart was beating hard in her throat, and her hands felt weak where he clasped them between his. She saw the change in him so clearly. The revelation had turned him inside out, and she was at last able to touch the heart of him. The man who needed love.
But did he love her?
‘Cedric,’ she said, her voice a hoarse rasp. ‘I am so happy for you.’ That was true. It was glorious to see someone she loved so transformed.
‘But you don’t believe me,’ he said, his expression tender.
That wasn’t it, but he didn’t give her time to explain.
‘This has nothing to do with money. Your dowry or anything like this is entirely separate. Here, I’ll prove it to you.’ He looked up, over her shoulder at someone else behind her. ‘Cousin, you have control of her affairs, yes? After Lord Wenshire’s death, you are her guardian?’
Lucy twisted around to see her brother-in-law, Declan, in the doorway. He had clearly just arrived as he was standing there with his mouth ajar. Grace was beside him, her expression soft as she held his hand.
‘Good morning to you too, Cedric,’ Declan said with a slow drawl. ‘I am pleased to see that you are alive. I have been in contact with your sisters during your absence. I can give you details about—’
‘I read the letters. Thank you,’ Cedric interrupted. ‘Do you have guardianship over Lucy?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘Then here is the marriage contract I want. Set all her funds into an account that she manages.’
‘Are you feverish?’ Declan stepped further into the room. ‘No bank will allow that.’
‘They will allow it, Declan. You’re a duke. I’ll be an earl. If we tell them so, it will be.’
‘Cedric, this is not necessary,’ Lucy said, her voice low. And yet, even as she spoke, she wanted to hear the rest. She wanted to know what he would give up for her.
‘I don’t want her dowry. She will manage it better than I will anyway.’
She squeezed his hands. ‘I could not have gotten the investors you did. I could not have filled the cargo hold on my own.’
He looked back at her, and his mouth curved into a smile that heated her all the way to her toes. ‘I am good with the investors. That’s what I bring to the business then.’
That’s not what she wanted in her marriage. ‘Cedric—’ she began, but he was moving, straightening out of his chair. She went with him. How could she not when he still gripped her hand? And then, when she thought he would stand before her, he sank down. ‘Cedric!’ she cried, alarmed. But a moment later, she realised he’d gone down on one knee before her.
‘I love you, Lucy. From the very first, I have dreamed about you, wanted you, fought with you and adored you. No woman has ever consumed me as you do, and I never want it to end. You have made me a better man, and please God, will you stay and help me be worthy of you? It is all that I have wanted these last two years, and I swear I will make it someday. I’m already figuring things out—’
She pressed a shaking hand to his mouth. Finally, he had said the words. All this devotion, and all she cared about were his first words. He loved her.He loved her!