Her mother pulled back, searching her face and then staring hard at Zhi Hao. Contrary to Ling Xin’s mood, Zhi Hao’s expression had become darker with every step toward her home. He was grim now as he bowed to her mother, and his body was so rigid, Ling Xin feared he would break with the movement.
She had been looking at her husband, so she hadn’t seen the blow coming. An open-palmed slap from her mother, not to Zhi Hao who would usually get the stinging reproach, but to herself, with enough force that she stumbled.
Zhi Hao caught her and quickly placed himself between her and her mother.
“Blame me, Lady Song. I am—”
“Not to blame,” Ling Xin interrupted. “I did this. He knew nothing of it until I arrived at his door.”
“How could you be so cruel!” her mother snapped. “We did not know what had happened to you. We thought you dead by your cousin’s hand!”
Ling Xin reared back. “You thought Li Fei had killed me?”
“She took your place. Father discovered it the moment he went to work, but he could not ask. If we were wrong, she would be killed. And yet, he still considered it.”
“Li Fei could not kill anyone!” Ling Xin said firmly. At least, she didn’t think so. What exactly did she know of her surprisingly devious cousin.
“Then what were we to think? With no word from you and no one knowing what had happened.” She gripped her daughter tight. “Why didn’t you leave a note, you foolish, idiot child?”
Because a note would have been found too quickly, and there was no one here she could have trusted to delay delivery. But she couldn’t say that, so she bowed her head and begged forgiveness.
“I was thoughtless, Mama. Pray forgive me.”
Her mother sputtered in her fury, but Ling Xin knew the woman well. She would forgive her child eventually. If not in a few days, then when the grandchildren came.
That settled things with her mother, but her other parent was the one who mattered most, especially to Zhi Hao. Earl Song held Zhi Hao’s future in his hands. Even if Zhi Hao passed the exam, the earl could banish him to the farthest corner of China. And he could send Zhi Hao away without his wife.
So when they saw the earl coming into the front courtyard, both Ling Xin and Zhi Hao dropped to their knees in a kowtow. Three times they bowed. Three times, Ling Xin prayed for her father’s forgiveness. She remembered now how devastated he was each time her brothers failed the imperial exam. She knew he wondered if they had failed it on purpose.
And now she had done the same, throwing away her chance to become empress because of love.
Did he know how sorry she was to disappoint him? Did he know how happy she was to be with Zhi Hao?
She raised her head. Her father said nothing.
Zhi Hao did the same. Her father said nothing.
And then together, they found their feet. It was a breach of protocol. Tradition said they should stay prostrate until the earl told them to rise. Worse, tradition said she wait for him to speak, but she could not.
He was the man who had bounced her on his knee. He was the one who had praised her mind, and taught her to stand tall. And he was the one who’d once said he loved her.
“Father. Baba. You are a great man with a brilliant mind and a far-seeing gaze. And though I be a woman, you guided me until I could do the same. I still have much to learn, but in this, I saw further than you.” She grabbed Zhi Hao’s hand. “I saw that love is greater than any emperor or even a brilliant father. Love is what I chose. And I hope that you love me still.”
He didn’t answer her. His gaze flicked away from her to stare at Zhi Hao. “You did this, despite everything I offered?”
Zhi Hao dipped his chin. “Women are not like shoes, easy to exchange one for another. You raised the most amazing woman I have ever met. How could I give her up, even for everything you offered?”
Her father grunted. “Pretty words. How will you support her?”
“I hope you will honor me with a position. I would learn from you. But if you do not…” He looked at Ling Xin. “I have sworn to honor her. I will find a way, even if I walk the mudbanks of the Yangtze River.”
Her father snorted. “That is a hard life.”
“She is worth it.”
Her father walked directly up to Zhi Hao and met his eyes. Zhi Hao did not flinch. Then her father turned to her.
“Love, huh?”