“I will.” She grasped Li Fei’s hands and said as much of the truth as she could. “You sing it so beautifully, but sometimes you get nervous.” In truth, Li Fei’s stage fright had been a problem a decade ago. She hadn’t had a problem in years, but uncertainty ran deep and her next words proved it.
“I can do it, but I would prefer to have someone with me,” she confessed.
“Of course, you can do it,” Ling Xin reassured her cousin. “But this way I will be there to take some of the attention. If you mess up, you can blame it on me. Say I missed the steps, and you tried to cover.”
Li Fei nodded. “I always do better when I sing for a dancer. I can look at them and match the song to their movements.”
“I know. That is why I suggested it,” she lied.
“But what about your foot? You said you hurt it.”
“My foot is fine.” For the most part. “And I could use the practice in front of people, just like you.” She squeezed her cousin’s hands. “Please, please let me dance.”
“Yes, of course!” Li Fei said. “It will help me more than you, but uncle has to agree.”
Her mother huffed out a breath, then eyed them both. “You leave that up to me. I shall arrange it. Now quick!” She waved her hands at them. “Get dressed for a performance!”
They rushed off to get their costumes. This was not the first time they had performed together. It was customary for an official to entertain minor dignitaries with music. It was her father’s good financial sense that made her and Li Fei his entertainment. They were cheaper than professionals and almost as good.
It didn’t take long to get ready. They had already dressed and set their hair for the Chingming festival. All it took was a change in wardrobe complete with the large fans Ling Xin would use during her dance.
Still, they barely made it in time. Indeed, she could already see that her father was flushed from wine and impatience. But he grinned when they entered the room, and soon the wife of Ling Xin’s eldest brother was playing the opening notes on the zither.
Ling Xin danced as if she were performing for the emperor himself. She twirled, she stepped, and she used her fans to great effect. She tried not to dance specifically for Zhi Hao. She was not supposed to show preference, but every step, every turn had her gaze searching his face.
He looked pleased, she thought, but it was a polite expression, one perfect while sitting in the house of an earl. It was not the kind of look she was used to receiving from him. In fact, several times she caught him looking at Le Fei rather than herself, and the pique she felt at that almost made her misstep.
When the performance was done, everyone applauded. She looked to Zhi Hao, but his gaze was on Li Fei, his expression almost one of awe. And one glance at her father showed that he was well pleased.
Then the earl grinned at her. “The emperor will adore you,” her father said fondly. “Now go rest, my beautiful daughter. Let Li Fei entertain our guests tonight.”
And so she was dismissed. There was nothing she could do about it. She slunk back into her room, nearly threw her costume into the trash out of pique, but then settled down. She knew why this was happening. Her father was tasked with matching her cousin with a husband. Who better than a promising student who had already worked extra hard to please him? Father had found a protégé and a good husband for Li Fei all in one stroke.
She should be pleased, but she felt sick at the idea of Zhi Hao doing with Li Fei all the things they had done. She scrubbed the cosmetics off her face with a ferocity that nearly drew blood.
He could not have Li Fei! And she was a shrew to think such a thing. Because if she were destined for the Forbidden City,why would she stop her cousin from catching a good man? An excellent man who defended women and saved peasants.
But now what was she to do? She could still hear Li Fei singing. Indeed, their applause when she finished carried through the whole house. And that made Ling Xin seek her bed.
The men would be drinking late into the night. She would not meet Zhi Hao tonight, even if he banged on her door and begged. So she curled into her pillow and cried.
Chapter Fourteen
Zhi Hao didnot see Ling Xin that night, not that he expected to. He had seen that as much as she tried to hide it, she had been dancing just for him. That knowledge had him pulsing with desire.
And it told him that she was no fox spirit. She could not hide her passionate nature or her impudent smile as she danced. Not when she flashed him a coy glance or turned to look straight at him.
She was flesh and blood, and she had danced for him. He, who had little claim to title except as the son of the lowest red bannerman. He, who had nothing to recommend him—no wealth, no status, and no job—except for the possibility that he might pass the imperial exam.
Bright, daring, sensual Song Ling Xin had danced just for him, and everyone had seen it.
That, of course, was the problem. Her father had noticed and had dismissed her immediately after the dance. No doubt she would get forcefully reminded that she was meant for the emperor.
Meanwhile, he was given to consider Li Fei. And if he accepted the woman—after passing the exam—then the earl would sponsor him for a profitable position managing China’s finances. He had said that exactly and repeatedly.
That was no small offer. Indeed, it was everything he’d ever wanted, wrapped up in a neat Li Fei bow.
He should want it. It was his entire future exactly how he envisioned it. What was one woman compared to all that? Ling Xin was destined for the Forbidden City and there was nothing either of them could do about it.