She shrugged. “But I understand it now.”
He sighed, and the sound seemed to come from deep within him. “Mellie, I cannot. I will not debauch you.”
She bit her lip. She wanted to be debauched. How had she lived this long without having that experience? How had she not even known it was possible?
But the more time passed, the more she knew he was right. She risked everything by having him here touching her. There were too many things set against her on the marriage mart already. She had to be sure to stay a virgin. She knew this, and yet it was so hard to stop touching him.
Then she looked at him, seeing a way to satisfy her curiosity. She rushed the words out, whispering them before she could stop herself.
“Will you teach me?” she asked.
She felt her words jolt through his body. A jerk of his hand, but a sudden heat in his eyes. “Teach you what exactly, Mellie?”
“Show me how to do that…to feel that way again. By myself.”
She watched him swallow, and his eyes seemed to fire suddenly bright, but then his expression abruptly closed down. He looked hard. And very remote.
“Don’t be angry,” she said, though—God in heaven—why she had formed those words, she hadn’t a clue. It was only that he suddenly looked so forbidding.
“I’m not angry,” he said. “I’m trying to hold onto my honor.”
“But—”
“Yes.” The word was hard and clipped, but there was no anger in his face.
“You will?”
“Yes. But not tonight. I’ll… We’ll… Tomorrow night maybe. Or…Jesus.” He rubbed a hand over his face. Then he abruptly straightened and stepped away. He gently disentangled their fingers and left the bed. “Another time, Mellie.”
“But—”
“Not. Tonight.” Then he gave her a stiff, awkward bow and headed for the door. “I—” he began. Then he shook his head. “Jesus.”
Then he slipped away.
* * *
Trevor stumbled to his room, his mind reeling. What an undiscovered jewel Mellie was! All men longed for a passionate, responsive wife. Sadly, there was no way to tell before the wedding night exactly the kind of sexual creature one had married. Most men discovered they’d tied themselves to a frightened virgin who eventually became a cold fish.
Mellie wasn’t that kind of woman. She was sensitive. Good Lord, he’d never seen someone who could come just from nipple play. Add to that her naturally curious mind, and she could become a goddess in the bedroom. It only required some simple encouragement.
Her husband had better not be a clod. What a waste that would be!
He hastily stripped out of his clothes before collapsing naked onto his bed. He couldn’t bear the thought of Mellie with an idiot for a husband. Which was why he’d promised her he’d teach her. If nothing else, he’d make sure she knew how to pleasure herself. He almost taught her right there and then, except he knew himself. If he got one hand between her thighs, nothing would stop him from completing the deed. He’d embed his cock so deep, she’d never forget him. And he’d surely end up releasing his seed without even the forethought of a sheath.
He knew that about himself, so he had run from her like an errant coward. He had awakened her to the possibilities of her body and then abandoned her.
He released a litany of curses, but it was really a distraction. Easier to damn himself for a fool than to think of the way her skin had flushed and her body had writhed during her awakening. She had been so shocked, she hadn’t even cried out. It had been more of a gasp and the sweetest mew of delight as her body shot from her control.
He closed his eyes, remembering that moment. Replaying it in his mind’s eye over and over while he wrapped his own hand around his cock. And how ridiculous was this? He hadn’t pleasured himself in years. Even under his current restricted finances, there were always women happy to entertain a future duke. But the idea of any other woman repulsed him.
So he took himself in hand and dreamed of the surprising Mellie. Of her smiling, her eyes languid and her body soft. She was so rarely soft with anyone, but with him, she had sighed in delight and shivered like a newborn colt. She had gripped his shoulders and arched into his caress.
He pictured himself repeating what he had done while slowly spreading her legs. He would slip in, taking his time so that she could adjust to him. She would be virginally tight. She would grip him as he plowed her, and her lips would form that perfectOof delight.
And he would…
While she…