She put on her typical smile and walked with her family into the Vauxhall masquerade. This year she’d made a different costume for herself, one more appropriate to her mood. Instead of the hopeful green fairy of last year, she wore a simple domino and the mask of an owl. She’d put a great deal of time and care into making herself appear like a wizened owl perched on a tree as she watched the world go by.
“I wish you’d picked something more colorful,” said Diana as they entered the gardens. “Something to make you stand out more for all the men to see.”
“Bright colors would make no difference. Every man worth considering knows who I am already and has made his opinion clear.”
That was the sad truth of the last year. Thanks to Gwen’s popularity, Lilah had made the round oftonparties—at least those that would bend enough to allow a by-blow into their midst. She had danced and flirted. She’d been as charming as she knew how, and several gentlemen had been interested in her as a less-than-legal paramour, but none had offered marriage despite her admittedly modest dowry.
“There’s a new crop of gentlemen every year,” Diana said. “You mustn’t lose hope.”
“I haven’t,” she said. “I’ve simply become realistic. I will not find a husband among the respectableton. I have no idea why Papa insisted that I try.”
That was the mystery of her childhood. Her father had decreed that she be raised as a blueblood. That she be educated as one, taught the manners of one, and find a husband among them. He’d even told her that her actress mother had been titled as well, but she’d never seen any proof of it. Still, he spoke of it as if having two aristocratic parents overcame the fact that she’d been born out of wedlock.
It didn’t. And since her father had died years ago, she could content herself with a different path. “I intend to seek employment,” she said.
“What?” Diana gasped. “Why?”
“How else am I to make my way in the world? I will not find a life among theton. That much is clear. I could travel to the colonies where my parentage would not be so black a mark—”
“All the way there? But we’d never see you.”
“And I’d miss you dreadfully.” She would.
“You can’t—”
“Do you know anyone in America? Someone who might sponsor me there?”
Diana shook her head. “I thought you and Mama rubbed along very well. That you were happy.”
What Diana meant was that everyone assumed she would become the spinster aunt caring for Mama. That she would be content with such a future if no husband presented himself. But such a lackluster future held no appeal. She wanted a family of her own. And if she could not find one among the elite, then she would look among the less-than-elite. And the best way to do that was to work among them as one of their own.
“I can be an excellent housekeeper or a companion.”
“But you are more than that!”
Was she? The upper crust looked down upon her and the lower orders didn’t dare speak to her. And with her sisters now blissfully wed, she felt lonelier than ever. “It is time for a change,” she said.
Diana squeezed her hand. “Not yet. Be merry tonight. You never know what will happen. Gwen told me you kissed someone last year at this very masquerade.”
“That was nothing,” she lied as she looked away. In truth, it had been everything to her.
Lord Chambers had never led her on, but her hopes had soared nonetheless. Several times that night he had made her the focus of his undivided attention and their waltz had lived nightly in her dreams. As for their kiss, nothing in her life compared to that experience. It was beyond anything she’d ever imagined.
And best—or worst—of all, he had given her hope at the end that he might overlook her parentage if he loved her. She’d immediately begun planning ways for them to meet, to spend time together, to dance and kiss again, but he’d disappeared from thetonthe very next day. He’d gone home to his suddenly ill father and hadn’t returned to the social whirl again. And though she’d waited, praying he’d return, she soon learned that his mother had fallen ill as well. Then two months ago, his father finally passed, and Lord Chambers—now Lord Kittrel—was steeped in mourning. His mother had recovered, thank God, but she was still sickly and he had remained at his family seat with her.
Lilah heard when he returned to Town for political affairs. He had to release his seat in the House of Commons and was soon set to take his place in the House of Lords. And though he never attended any society party, he was certainly the center of a great deal of gossip. An eligible Earl was the hope of every unwed lady. When he finally returned to society, he would have his choice of the cream of society.
Which meant her chance with him was gone. She could not compete with all those fresh faced, legitimate debutantes. Lilah bundled up all those sweet memories and tucked them away…again. Just as she had every one of the thousands of times before when he’d entered her thoughts.
Fortunately, they’d arrived at their box and were settling in. The dancing would soon begin now that her two brothers-in-law were here to open the festivities. While Lilah watched from the sidelines, Lord Lucifer and Lord Satyr welcomed one and all to the masquerade then led their wives onto the dance floor.
The revelry started soon afterwards. Lilah was escorted to the dance floor several times, but her heart wasn’t in it. She knew these men and knew what they wanted. It wasn’t her as a wife. She danced because it was polite, but eventually she slipped away into the shadows. Perhaps she could find Margarite again.
Unfortunately, the jugglers were performing, not the rope dancers, and she couldn’t find her former friend anywhere. What she did notice was a woman dressed all in black trying—very badly—to be inconspicuous. She was leaning in tight to the shrubbery as if listening to someone on the other side of the path. And every so often she would scurry down and lean in again.
It was extraordinarily odd, and Lilah couldn’t resist stepping closer to watch. To the side, several other people noticed her, but then moved on. She wasn’t particularly interesting as a figure in black trying to sink into the shrubbery. But Lilah had nothing else to occupy her thoughts, and so she followed the woman as she moved further along the path.
Lilah was about to get bored when the lady’s cloak caught on a branch. Right when the woman rushed forward, the cloak abruptly hauled her backwards. Then when she twisted to untangle herself, another branch caught her hair. Before long, she was hopelessly enmeshed, and Lilah moved in to help.