She swallowed. She didn’t want to eat. She wanted him to kiss her until she forgot all of her pain. She wanted to be his mistress if it meant she would never be tossed aside ever again. Especially if it meant he would grace her bed and teach her such things as they had done last night. But that was the future for a mistress. What she wanted was to become a wife, and that was not something he offered.
She pushed up until she could face him upright. She brushed the hair out of her eyes and tried to smooth the creases out of her gown. She wasn’t very hungry, but he was right. She needed something in her stomach before tomorrow. And she would very much like to spend what time she could with him.
“I should love to join you at table.”
He smiled as he offered her his arm. She took it as if she were the queen accepting the escort of her favorite knight in shining armor. Of all the people in her life, he was the one who had helped her with her tasks, who had fought beside her and protected her from harm. If she couldn’t be his wife, then she would be thankful for his friendship and try so very hard to not wish for more.
They ate together in the kitchen. With Clara gone to her séance, it was just the two of them and both had worked long past the usual hour for dining. With no butler to maintain order, the staff had disappeared to their own pursuits, leaving Lilah to serve them both in the most casual of manners.
“I need to put my house in order,” Aaron grumbled over his tureen of cold soup. He looked up with a desperate hope in his eyes. “Please say you will help me with that. I will happily pay whatever your registry wants to get a good butler in place.”
“I have already promised Clara I’d help.” She tilted her head. “Do you truly mean to force her to wed?”
“Of course not.” He gave a helpless gesture. “I simply want her to act with more maturity. I cannot live like this any longer. Servants gone, meals taken in the kitchen, my butler threatening me in my own hallway!” He dropped his fist onto the table. It didn’t bang down, but the thud reverberated with frustration. “It’s long past time for me to host dinner parties, evening drinks with my compatriots, private discussions at home. It’s the way the business of the nation gets discussed and prioritized.”
“And you have not been able to do that,” she said, seeing the depth of his frustration.
“Would you bring Lord Castlereagh into this house? What would he think of the dents in my table, the dust on the mantle, and the unlaid fire in the library?”
She swallowed her cold soup out of reflex while her mind processed the depth of his problem. Certainly, he could have dealt with this before. He could have wrested the control of his household out of his sister’s domain from the very beginning. But that would have hurt his sister and left Clara with even more time on her hands to wander into trouble. Right now Clara and Lord Loughton were at a séance with only her maid as chaperone. Lilah trusted Lord Loughton to keep Clara safe, but that wouldn’t stop any gossip from shredding her reputation. And though Clara didn’t seem to care about that now, Lilah knew that someday she might have cause to need a good name. If only because it made the way easier for Aaron.
“I’m sorry,” Lilah said. “You’re in a difficult position. As long as I’m here, I will pay my way by setting your house to rights. I promise.”
“You don’t need to repay me—” he began, but she cut him off.
“I want to. It won’t change things between you and Clara, but if I can find you a good butler and housekeeper, then they can do the work for her.”
Relief and gratitude washed through his expression. “I will take any help I can get.” His expression turned pensive. “And if you are amenable, I know of several veterans who could use some training and help in finding a position.”
She nodded. She had already thought of such a thing. “Of course…” Her voice trailed away when she saw a pile of pound notes on the table. “Aaron?”
“I would like to pay you for the classes. For the veterans. I understand that you aren’t quite ready to do it, but this is for when you do.”
She didn’t have to count the pile to know that five hundred pounds sat on the table before her. He was making up for the money she lost. “I cannot take—”
“Money for classes?” he interrupted. “Of course, you can. Indeed, that is exactly the business you are in.” He leaned back in his chair. “I insist. And don’t share that with Bates. I’m hiring you, not his registry office. You’re not employed there until tomorrow, so this is between you and me.”
She smiled and wondered how such a good man had come to be. Aaron had the money and status to force people to do his bidding, and yet he spent his political time fighting for the poor and his evenings burying his needs as a way to show love to his sister. She’d never met a man so generous with his heart, and yet so closed to his own personal needs.
“Thank you,” she said as she gratefully accepted his money. Now that she was on her own, she needed the funds. “I will do everything I can to help you and your veterans,” she vowed. Someone needed to. Someone needed to give to him as thoroughly as he was giving himself to others.
They spent the rest of the evening discussing their jobs. She wanted to know why it was so hard to get government monies for the hospitals, and he wanted to know how she planned to run the registry office. They spoke over their meal and while cleaning their dishes afterwards. The task was beneath an earl, but he didn’t even blink as he picked up a towel to dry off the wet china. And when the task was done, he offered her his arm and escorted her to his library. There he laid the fire while she poured his brandy. And they sat together for hours still talking.
Until he caught her stifling a yawn.
“I’m a beast,” he said as he set down his glass. “You’ve had a full and difficult day.”
“I don’t mind—” she began, but he cut her off.
“We both have early days.” He extended his arm again, and she set her hand upon it. She had had her share of wine this night and swayed unpredictably for a moment. He held her secure, and in that moment, they were face to face. Nearly lip to lip.
Her heart stuttered and her breath caught. Would he kiss her again? Would he touch her as he had last night? Please, please,please!
His nostrils flared and his body tightened against hers. She wanted to lean into him. She wanted to drape herself across him as she had last night. And oh, what pleasure they had shared. Could they do it again? Just one more night.
“Lilah,” he whispered, and her name came with a strangled kind of groan.
“Aaron,” she echoed, her lips curving as she teased him.