She matched his smile, unable to hold back her thoughts when he looked at her like that. “Since my mother was alive. She was an actress, and I used to sneak down to watch in the evenings.”
“You watched her performances?”
“Not exactly. Of course, I saw them, but that part was the same every night. Or mostly the same.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It was everyone else. Actors do such interesting things before they perform. Naturally, everyone cared about what happened on the stage, but I loved the excitement just before the performance. Anything could occur then. The evening was one huge possibility. Afterwards, it was done for good or for ill. But beforehand—”
“You like the anticipation of a thing.”
She smiled. “I suppose so. Does that make me odd?”
“That makes you intelligent. I have seen so many young men lost in the constant getting of things. As soon as it is in their hands, they are bored and think of something else to acquire. It is an empty way to live.”
How very perceptive of him. “And what of you, my lord? Do you appreciate the waiting or the getting of a thing?”
He flashed her a rueful smile. It made him look boyishly handsome as he spoke. “The getting, of course, but that scarcely matters as I never obtain what I seek. It’s incredibly frustrating, I assure you.”
“Bah,” she said. “You are a handsome earl. You can get whatever you want.” Clearly the wine had made her bold. She would never have challenged him otherwise.
“Right now, I want the government to pay better pensions for our veterans.”
Oh yes. He was a man who tilted at governmental windmills. “There is no chance for such a thing?”
He shrugged. “I continue to try. I think I shall get money for a new infirmary attached to Royal Hospital. At least those who were wounded can get more care.”
“But that is a wonderful thing!” she exclaimed.
“And once I have achieved it, I shall be like all those young men I mentioned. I shall immediately look to the next thing I want.”
“I think the getting of a hospital is vastly different than the getting of a new carriage or another horse.”And infinitely more admirable.
“The process is the same though,” he said. “I fear I need to live more like you, enjoying the anticipation more than the getting because my successes are few and far between.”
She shook her head as her steps slowed. “Nonsense. I think you enjoy the work. That is exceedingly rare for a titled gentleman.”
His brows rose. “You think my set is generally lazy?”
And spoiled, sometimes cruel, and often completely useless to the world.
“Don’t answer that,” he said dryly. “I can see your thoughts on your face.”
Then she was definitely inebriated because she was normally much better at hiding her thoughts. “A bastard often sees the worst of mankind. Especially the female ones.”
His expression sobered, and he extended his arm to her. She took it with ease, feeling happy with the whole world. Or perhaps it was just the joy of being with her companion.
“May I ask you a personal question?” he asked.
“You may ask me anything you like,” she returned, curious at what he might want to know.
“Did your father ever plan for your future?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you have a dowry?”
“My father used to say that my future was secure. Whatever he meant by that was lost when he died. There is a small dowry that Mama managed, and I’ve managed to put a little money aside for myself from saving my pin money, but that is not enough to sustain me for long.”