“Yes! And it’s just not true!”
“Of course, it’s not true.”
Except it was, at least where she was concerned. They’d made love several times while in Lincolnshire. She’d been the one begging for it every time, but that didn’t change the truth. He was an excellent lover. Almost mythical in his abilities, she thought. And every time she claimed that he was the purest, most moral gentleman she’d ever met, she was lying. He was the best, most amazing man she’d ever met, and that was enough for her.
“Gwen? What are you thinking?”
That she was in love and that was uncomfortable. He made her laugh, and she never felt awkward or odd in his presence. He challenged her mind and let her say whatever she believed as forcefully as she wanted. And when he touched her, everything else disappeared. She always felt safe in his arms, and often she felt so much more.
She was in love with Jackson, and she didn’t know what to do about it. Did she tell him? Wouldn’t he feel forced to marry her then? Did she want a husband who came to her out of guilt and obligation?
“Gwen?”
She jerked her attention back to her half-sister. “Mama says Lord Sayres has been banned from Almack’s. So I want you—”
“I am a bastard, Gwen. I’ve never been allowed there before, and I won’t be allowed inside now.”
“That’s not fair! You deserve to dance and find a husband just like everyone else.”
Lilah didn’t respond. She didn’t need to because they both knew the world wasn’t fair. But if ever a woman deserved happiness, it was Lilah.
“When this is over,” Gwen declared loudly, “I will set my mind to getting you a good husband.”
Her sister squeezed Gwen’s hand. “When this is over, I have plans of my own.”
“What plans? They must be very smart because…” her voice trailed away as Lilah shook her head.
“No more talk. Tonight is about you.”
The panic that had disappeared when she focused on Lilah returned now with renewed power. “I can’t be clever on my own! Not without him, not without you. I’ll resort to talking botany and that’s not what we need right now.”
Lilah pressed a kiss to Gwen’s cheek, then stepped back. “You look beautiful. Mama will be there to help.”
“She never helps—”
“And if you get self-conscious, remember that he thinks you’re perfect just as you are.”
Gwen frowned at Lilah. “How do you know that? He’s never said—”
“It’s in the way he looks at you. And besides, I know it too. You’re perfect.” And with that, she pulled the first of several daffodils from the vase on the dressing table and began slipping them carefully into the holders tucked into Gwen’s hair. She saved the last for the largest pin at her bodice. “Ready?” Lilah asked.
“Not in the least. I hate Almack’s.”
“After tonight, you’re going to love it.”
*
“Lady Jersey, youcannot deny me entrance tonight.” Jackson struggled to keep his voice even. He stood outside the entrance to the Marriage Mart. It was society’s most holy place where virginal girls went to find husbands while five patronesses watched over the proceedings like queens. Lady Jersey was only one of the five, but she was his last hope. If she denied him entrance, then he would be forced to cool his heels in worry while Gwen struggled on her own to make their dreams come true.
“You don’t understand how important I am to Lady Gwen. She needs me there. Everything depends upon her shining tonight, and I help her relax.”
“Poppycock. Lady Gwen doesn’t need to relax. She needs to learn how to smile prettily and pretend that she needs a man.”
Lord, how was he to make Gwen popular without being in there himself? “Surely there is something I can do to convince you.”
“My lord, Almack’s is a place where proper young ladies and gentlemen can meet. Your reputation—”
“Is completely fabricated. I did not do any of the things of which I am accused!”