“Yes,” she said. And no, because she wanted him to do that again, only longer this time.
“Would you like another?”
“Yes.”
“Anything different?”
It was as if he’d read her mind, but there was a note in his voice that she’d heard before, and it soured the experience. “Are you making fun of me?”
He pulled back as if shocked. “Of course not!”
His outrage sounded real, but she had a great deal of experience with people laughing at her when they seemed to be saying nice things. She looked away, her gut clenching now as her shoulders hunched. She had done this all wrong.
She started to move away from him, but he held up his hand. He didn’t touch her, but it was enough to make her stop.
“Lady Gwen,” he said softly, “I was not making fun at all. I like that you can be so specific about your desires. I’m grateful because it makes it easier for me to please you.”
“Why?” she whispered.
“Because clear direction makes—”
“Not why is it easier,” she huffed. “Why do you want to please me?”
He rocked back on his heels. “That is the purpose of kissing, isn’t it? To please one another?”
She frowned. “I thought it was an imitation of the sexual act as a prelude to true intercourse.”
“Um, well, I had never thought of it that way before.”
Then he held up his elbow, inviting her to take his arm in the most formal of poses. She did, but slowly. Were they to walk again? When her knees still felt week and she could still feel her pulse low in her belly.
“I suppose,” he finally said, “that kisses can be both. A prelude to intercourse and an activity enjoyable all on its own.”
So she had imagined. They began walking and he kept his steps short to match hers. In the silence, she found the courage to be bold. “Do you mind talking to me frankly about these things? I have many questions, and I can only find a limited amount of information at the lending library.”
“I should think so.” Then he tilted his head toward her. “What do you wish to know?”
So many things, but she wasn’t bold enough to talk about all of it. She would just start with kisses. “Have you ever felt repulsed by a kiss?” That was uppermost in her mind because no one had ever spoken of such a thing to her. She needed to know if she was unusual.
“Certainly, I have,” he answered, to her intense relief. “That is a sure sign that you should run away from the perpetrator and never be alone with him again.” He paused a moment as he slanted his gaze at her. “Did—”
“Not yours,” she rushed to say.
He nodded. “I am relieved to hear it.”
She chuckled. He was speaking in the same tone as he might say,I am relieved that it is not snowing today.She found it exceedingly helpful, and she relaxed more as they continued to walk.
“I should like to know the correct way to kiss,” she ventured. “When the man’s tongue intrudes, am I to push back? Should I open my mouth as wide as possible and allow it?”
“I believe gentlemen prefer enthusiasm during kissing.”
She nodded as if that made sense. “But whatexactlydoes enthusiasm entail? What should I do so as to demonstrate it?”
“I don’t really know. I have never thought of it that way before.” He turned to look at her more closely. “Do you analyze all of your actions like this? How toappearenthusiastic? Happy? Sad? Don’t you just feel them?”
“I do feel them,” she said. “But I don’t seem to respond as most people expect. So I have to learn what others expect so as to—”
“Mimic it?” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to mimic anything with me. Ever. I want you to react however you feel, no matter if you think I might be offended or not.”