That was a more serious question. There were several people she could tolerate for a while, but only a precious few could be in her presence for more than a quarter hour without becoming an annoyance. It was frustrating to be so uncomfortable with people when she longed to connect with them as she did Lilah.
“I was with Lord Sayres for nearly three hours today, and I didn’t despise him once.”
“Not once!” Her sister smiled, her eyes dancing in the candlelight. “Do you think that comfort with him will continue?”
“Probably not. But for now, I shall be grateful that he has not given me a disgust of his person.” And that he didn’t appear disgusted with her. “In fact,” she confessed, “I really enjoyed his company.”
“Now that is very interesting,” Lilah said. “Let’s hope it continues.”
Well, that would be wonderful, but experience told her it wasn’t likely. “If we are to make a great deal of money, I shall tolerate him. And even if we don’t make any money, I shall be happy enough if you find a husband.”
Lilah raised her hand as if to ward off the thoughts. “Let us leave the question of me for another day, hmm? Let’s talk instead about that kiss.”
Gwen squirmed on the bed, feeling both intrigued and disquieted by the memory, and that alone was cause for examination. She was usually clear on her emotions. Unless it was science, she usually had a negative response or none at all.
“He was laughing as he spun me around. And because he was so happy, I was too.”
“You laughed?”
“Freely,” she confessed. And it had been astonishing.
“Then he set you on your feet?”
Gwen nodded. “We were still looking at each other, and there was a moment…” She frowned. It was so hard to put into words. “I was still laughing, but I saw his head lower. It wasn’t fast. I saw him do it.”
“Did you know he was going to kiss you?”
“I did.”
“And you didn’t move away.”
It was a statement, not a question, but Gwen nodded anyway. “It was so fast, and yet, I knew it would happen. I had time to run if I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t.”
Gwen felt her lips tingle in memory, and she touched them. She felt her mouth curve into a smile. “I think he is a good kisser,” she finally said.
“You look like you enjoyed it, at any rate.”
“And it went on a very long time.” She remembered the feel of his hands on her back, drawing her close. Her entire body had been pressed up against him. And his tongue had teased in past her lips before thrusting in and out.
She had allowed it. She had enjoyed it! And given that all her other kisses from gentlemen had been wet, hurried, and thoroughly repellent, that was a significant surprise.
“I think I shall enjoy being on the shelf,” she said firmly.
“What nonsense!” Lilah exclaimed. “Isn’t he planning on making you this Season’s Original? That is not being on the shelf. That is being wonderfully available on the Marriage Mart.”
“That’s just the thing,” Gwen countered. “Whatever he does with me is for his flowers. It is just a way to make people want his daffodils.”
Lilah’s forehead wrinkled as she looked at Gwen. Her expression was one of puzzlement, but Gwen could not understand it.
“It’s simple,” Gwen explained. “I am too old to compete with all the new girls. Let them have the men. I shall not be doing anything but showing off his flowers.”
“I thought you wanted to get married so that you could have children.”
“I should not have told you that,” Gwen said.
“But you did. Have you given up your hunt for a husband?”