“I have decided to be your mistress.”
His body strained forward, but he would not be ruled by lust. He could not have heard her correctly.
“I’m so sorry, Amber. There was thunder over your words. Could you repeat that?”
There had been no thunder except the pounding of his heart, and her smile told him she knew he lied. Nevertheless, she didn’t tease him about it. She simply took another step forward.
“I have decided I want to be your mistress,” she said. “Assuming you will have me.”
Have her?He couldn’t stop visualizing all the ways he wanted to have her. But he forced his head to turn in a jerky denial. “You’re going to get married. You said you loved him.”
“I said I had fallen in love. I have. With you.”
His breath caught. She did not know what she was suggesting. “I cannot give you marriage like he can. You won’t be a baroness. Your children—”
“There will be no children,” she said firmly. “I will not bear one out of wedlock.”
Sound decision. But it wasn’t relevant. “You are to marry Christopher.”
She shook her head. “I know many women trapped in terrible marriages. They are treated as slaves, are routinely beaten and worse.”
“Christopher would not do that to you.”
“Maybe not, but if I am to have a transaction in my future, then I shall make the best bargain I can.”
He nodded, seeing her logic even though most of his blood was far away from his brain. “He is the best bargain. He’s the heir to a baronetcy.”
“And I would be his wife who takes care of his household and raises his children. I would be paid nothing, have no control of my own money, and would have to sneak out in secret to carve jewelry that would put money in his pocket.”
He couldn’t argue that. “It is a respectable life.”
She nodded. “Yes, it would be. But I find the transaction with you much more appealing. You would pay your mistress, yes? In baubles and a residence. That is the usual arrangement.”
He swallowed. No gently reared woman should know this, but he found that he liked the way her mind worked. He liked that she knew the reality of what she said she wanted.
“Will you?” she pressed.
“Yes,” he rasped. He would. Maybe not for any mistress, but for her, definitely.
“I would have control over my money. And if you displeased me, if you grew tired of me—”
“Never.” The word was out before he even realized he’d spoken.
“But if the situation turned difficult between us, I would not be trapped. I could take my money and pay for my own lodging. And I would keep the money I make from my jewelry and not share it with you. It would be my income to do with as I see fit.”
He shook his head. “You would not be respectable, Amber. You would be called a courtesan.”
“What do I care what other people say of me? So long as I can make jewelry, and they buy it?”
He didn’t have the ability to argue logic. Not with her standing in a nightrail so close. He could have it off and her on the bed within a trice. Still, he strove to keep her at bey for his own sanity. He feared that if he once broke his moral stance, he would not set her free for any reason. “Christopher will let you make jewelry.”
She snorted. “I want no man in control of my work. I will make what I choose, and no husband will stop me.”
“Certainly, no smart husband.”
She shrugged. “I cannot guarantee the wisdom of any man, and so I will remain independent.”
“And be a mistress?” He tried to put dismissal in his voice. He tried to tell her that she was making the wrong choice. She had a chance at a respectable life and children. But his words came out with hope rather than censure. “You would be my mistress.”