“In a way, it is. I have always dreamed of dancing among theton.Of being one of you, of meeting a handsome prince, and falling desperately in love.”
“That’s still possible, I suppose—”
“I am among you, Elliott, and it’s nothing like I thought.” She looked up at him, her eyes large and dark in the dim light. “It’s hard.”
She didn’t need to explain more. He knew how difficult it was to move through theton,especially as an unmarried woman. He had heard his sister Gwen complain often of petty cruelties and vicious gossip, and she had been born to her position. “I will be more public in your support. Perhaps if I take you to a ball tomorrow—”
“No,” she said softly. “Your family has already given me more than I deserve. You wanted me to make a brooch. We should go tomorrow—”
“You deserve respect. You deserve to enjoy yourself without being harassed. You deserve to dance with your prince and fall desperately in love.” His words were vehement. He hesitated, but somehow the question came out anyway. “And have you found someone? It isn’t Mr. Walsh, is it?”
Her lips curved. “That drunkard? No. But Mr. Jupp seems nice.”
He was. A sober poet of a man. Nothing objectionable, and in fact, they might have a great deal in common. Elliott hated him. It was irrational. He wanted Amber for himself, and everyone else be damned. But that wasn’t what was best for her, and so he forced himself to stand up.
“I should not be in here.”
“Is it always so mercenary?” she asked abruptly. “Does no one fall in love?”
“Scores fall in and out of love all the time,” he said. “But none marry.” Then honesty forced him to admit the truth. “There are a few love matches every Season.”
“And do they stay in love? Do they live happily ever after?”
He opened his mouth to assure her that, of course, they did. It was what she wanted to hear. Instead, he sighed. “Do you want me to lie to you?”
“No.”
“Many love matches fail, but there are a few that seem based on mutual respect.” He swallowed as he took a step closer to her. “I am looking for that in my marriage. One where I respect her, and she me. We can work together to achieve the same goal.”
“Your political career.” It wasn’t a question, but he answered it anyway.
“Yes.”
“And did you find her tonight? Do you have a list of eligible ladies who will fit your plans?” She gestured over the writing desk. “That’s Diana’s list for me.”
He saw that it was crumpled and tossed into a corner of the writing desk. “You don’t like her suggestions?”
Amber looked up at him, and in the candlelight, her eyes seemed to glow. “It’s not falling desperately in love, is it? It’s not happily ever after if it’s planned like a military campaign.”
“So, you cry because your dreams aren’t coming true the way you want them to?” He wasn’t chastising her for that. He was merely trying to understand, and her nod took away his confusion.
“I am such a fool,” she whispered.
“Actually,” he said as he leaned against the mattress, “It makes you remarkably clearheaded to both feel the emotion and know its cause.” He touched her cheek. It wasn’t wet, but her skin was heated, and her eyes still swollen. “I cannot think of many men or women who understand themselves so well.”
She snorted. “Then, you have remarkably stupid friends.”
“On the contrary. I find you remarkably intelligent. And given that my sister Gwen is a great bluestocking, that is high praise indeed.” She didn’t respond to that, and in time, he said what he really wanted to say. “I want to make this better for you.”
Her lips curved. “Will you fall desperately in love with me?”
His gut clenched, and his heart thudded hard in his throat. “Amber…” Her name came out in an anguished sigh. She was not a possible wife for him, and yet his blood surged at the thought.
She waved him aside. “No, no. It is a silly dream.”
He pulled her face back to look at him. “It is not silly. I want you. Can you not tell?”
She frowned, and her head moved back and forth in slow denial.