She jolted to a stop, only now realizing that she was halfway to the door. Everyone around them was staring at her as Lord Byrn made it to her side. “This isn’t seemly,” he said under his breath.
Seemly? It wasn’t at all seemly to sell a daughter like livestock. Meanwhile, Diana made it to her side. She spoke loud enough for all to overhear.
“Don’t worry, my dear. Your grandmother will be just fine. I’m sure it’s nothing serious, but we can go home and send a letter right away. There is no reason to worry.”
Her grandmother had died before she was born, but she recognized it for the ruse that it was. Diana had to give some excuse for her sudden distress, and that was as good as anything.
“I’ll get your wraps,” Lord Byrn said. Then he looked her in the eyes. “Don’t be concerned. I’ll take care of everything.”
That was exactly the problem! He had taken care of talking with her father and getting her a dowry. Diana was taking care of finding her a husband. And no one was taking care of what she wanted at all.
But the moment she thought it, she knew it for the lie it was. Hadn’t all of this been exactly what she’d prayed for? The parties, the dancing, thehusbandto whisk her away to a life of ease. She had dreamed of exactly that, and suddenly it was possible. With twenty thousand pounds, she might even garner a husband with a title. And though that was still not likely, it wasn’t out of reach anymore. Suddenly, she didn’t like reaching at all. She just wanted to be home, where no one complimented her teeth or spoke about their dogs. Where she was nothing and no one at all but the girl who daydreamed and made jewelry in secret.
And now, damn it, she was about to cry. What was wrong with her?
“Here you go,” Lord Byrn said as he set her wrap upon her shoulders. Then he gave her his right arm and his sister his left before escorting them outside to his waiting carriage.
“Really, Amber,” Diana began, “this is something to celebrate.”
Was it?
“It’s just new,” Elliott said. “And new is always frightening.”
Is that what they thought? Of course, it was. Because to them, the buying and selling of wives was how things were done. Except it had never been done that way for her. Everyone had assumed that eventually, she would meet someone and fall in love. A butcher’s boy or a baker’s son. No one but her had dreamed of a prince at a ball.
She didn’t speak as they climbed into the carriage. The coachman started them moving, but she just stared at her hands. She wore fine kid gloves borrowed from Diana. Would she one day have fine things like this of her own? Provided by a wealthy, titled husband? She had good things, of course. Her family wasn’t rich, but they’d always had coal in the winter and sturdy gloves for her hands. But now she might have fine gloves and gowns with lace made in France.
The idea made her head swim.
“I’ll take her to see her father,” Elliott said to Diana. “But she can’t be seen like this.”
“No, of course not. I have a dark cloak at home. I’ll bring it out to you.”
“Thank you.”
Diana leaned close and squeezed Amber’s fingers. “You look like I did before my wedding. But it won’t be like that for you,” she said. “You get to pick your husband, and I can help,” she said. “I know a little of who might make a good husband and who would not.”
So did Amber. She saw the ones for thenotcolumn every night. In fact, that was the first requirement of any possible husband, that he not frequent the Lyon’s Den. “I don’t understand,” she finally said. “We don’t have twenty thousand pounds.” Why would her father promise something they didn’t have?
“Actually,” Lord Byrn said gently, “you do. It was my suggestion. You have that much in gemstones and future profits from the store. Many gentlemen will marry a woman in the trades for just that kind of future income. The connection is usually kept quiet, but it is not uncommon.”
It was his suggestion. How the idea hurt. She couldn’t even fully say why, but the thought of him suggesting ways to make her moreauctionablewas a betrayal that burned deep in her heart.
“My grandparents married for love. They were both poor, but he was apprenticed to a jeweler, and she could cook. They had dreams together and made them come true. He tells me the stories often.”
Diana patted her hand. “And now you will have a marriage based on something much more substantial than dreams.”
She had no response to that, so she kept her head bowed, her fingers clasped, and her mouth pressed tightly shut. Her mind was spinning, and her emotions were even worse. She remained like that as they stopped at Diana’s home. His sister left, only to return with a cloak and to press a kiss to Amber’s cold cheek.
“I can’t go with you to the Den. It would be disastrous if anyone saw me, but Elliott will keep you safe.”
Amber looked up in confusion. “There is no one there who will hurt me.”
“Of course not,” Elliott said as he wrapped the dark fabric around her. “But this is about your reputation. Leave the hood over your head so no one will recognize you.”
No one would recognize her at her own home? Because she had a cloak with a hood on? She knew he meant it the other way. None of the fashionable people at the Lyon’s Den would see her, but she couldn’t help but hear it the other way. If she married someone outside her set, someone titled and respectable, would she then forever have to visit her family in secret? With her head and face covered so no one would know?
“I am being ridiculous,” she said, her voice disgustingly weak. “Every girl wants this. I want this.” So, why was she rushing home to plead with her father to take it all back? “I am the luckiest girl alive.”