There’s nothing I can say that doesn’t feel like I’m making excuses.
We sit there for another moment, the silence stretching between us, heavier now than before.
Eventually, Amanda gives a small shake of her head and stands up. “Come on,” she says. “Let’s head back.”
I nod, getting to my feet and falling into step with her again, but the conversation keeps echoing in my head.
She thinks I’m overreacting.
Maybe I am.
But it doesn’t change how it feels.
And it doesn’t change what I need to do.
Later that afternoon, I’m in my room, out on the balcony with my laptop on my knee. I’m trying to write, but the words won’t come. I sigh, wondering whether to give up for the day, when there’s a knock at my door.
When I open it, Key is there, smiling. He’s carrying a tray with a bowl of what looks like leek and potato soup and a few slices of bread.
“Thought you might be hungry,” he says, offering it to me. “You didn’t get breakfast this morning, what with everything going on, and I didn’t see you at lunch either.”
I’m not hungry. Not even close. But I take the tray anyway, forcing a small smile, and let him follow me inside. “Thanks.”
“So,” he says, dropping into one of the armchairs, “you must be feeling pretty guilty right now, huh?”
I nod automatically, then freeze. “How?—”
“Luke figured you might be,” Key says before I can finish. “He called. Said he’s okay. Said it’s not your fault.”
I stare at him. “He… called you?”
Key nods, and something twists in my chest. Even now, after everything, Luke is thinking about me. Trying to make sure I’m okay. That doesn’t make this better. If anything, it makes it worse.
“I’m such a bitch,” I mutter under my breath. “Did he tell you…”
Key shakes his head. “Didn’t need to. I can guess. Classic love triangle situation, right?”
I let out a tired breath. “Something like that.”
“Yeah. I could see Luke liked you as soon as you got here. Thought if anything kicked off, it’d be him and Reid, though—not him and Tal.”
“Reid?”
“Yeah. You didn’t notice the way he looked at you that first morning? You and Luke laughing over breakfast? I thought Reid was about two seconds from hauling him across the table.”
Oh. I hadn’t realized it was that obvious. Now I’m wondering who else saw it.
“There’s nothing going on between Reid and me,” I say.
“Sure,” Key replies, in a tone that says he doesn’t believe me. “Look, I don’t blame you. Honestly, if I thought for a second any of them were into guys, I’d have gone for it too. If everyone knew what they were getting into, you didn’t do anything wrong. They don’t get to lose their minds over it. Men. Testosterone. Whole mess.”
“Maybe,” I say quietly. “But I wasn’t supposed to do anything with them. I’m a guest. They run this place. There are rules.”
“It’s a stupid rule.”
“Maybe. But if I’d followed it, none of this would have happened.”
And that’s the part that sticks.