I didn’t have a moment—or however long it was really going to take him to get my car. Logically, I knew it was insane to berunning across Chicago in dress shoes and a suit, but adrenaline was doing funny things to me tonight.
This whole week had been a clusterfuck of epic proportions. I’d barely gotten any work done despite the fact that I’d spent most of my time at the office, trying to bury myself in paperwork rather than memories.
When I’d decided to come tonight, I’d figured I’d poke around the dinosaur exhibit for a bit and then go home. Under different circumstances, I might have found a nice girl to take home with me. Or a bad girl to take to a closet with me. But I had no interest in any of that. I still had the fake relationship thing going on with Jacqueline, for one, and Alex would legitimately cut off my balls if he thought I was cheating on her. More importantly, I didn’t actually want anyone else.
Jacqueline had been dominating my thoughts all week, and there was no room for thoughts of any other women. It was unfortunate because, obviously, I couldn’t have her. But as I ran to her apartment, knowing there was nowhere else she’d really go, none of that mattered anymore. The only thing I could think about was the look on her face when she’d seen her ex and the way she’d literally cut and run when he’d tried to touch her.
About a block before her street, the rain started picking up until it was a full-on downpour. It drenched me within seconds, plastering my hair to my forehead and making my shirt cling to my back, but even that didn’t matter.
Nothing was going to stop me now. Not even ruining a brand new, very expensive pair of shoes. I just kept running until I reached her building. Breathing hard, I stopped and hit the buzzer for her apartment. My chest was tight and my lungs were burning, but I pressed the button again and again.
Come on, come on.
Finally, there was a click and her voice came through. “What?”
“Jacque,” I managed, still trying to catch my breath. “It’s Jesse. Let me in.”
There was a brief pause, but then the door buzzed and I pushed it open. The two brain cells I normally had fighting for dominance had officially clocked out for the night, leaving me running purely on instinct as I took the stairs two at a time, not even bothering to wait for the elevator.
Her door cracked open just a fraction as I stormed down the hallway, but that was enough for me to see her.And yeah. That does it.
Her face was crumpled, unhappy, and shocked. Like a wound had been ripped open and she wasn’t ready to deal with it.
Somehow, for some fucking reason, as soon as I realized that, I felt it too. Something in my chest folded in on itself, that heated flare of protectiveness turning into an inferno.
“Hey,” I said. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head, but didn’t say anything.
I took a step forward, making sure to keep my voice soft and gentle. “Can I come in?”
For a long minute, she ran her gaze up and down the length of my body, doing a slow double-take when she realized I was dripping water all over the floor. Finally, that seemed to be what made her take a step back and open the door fully.
I followed her inside and shut the door behind me, not even caring that there was a puddle forming around my feet. “Who was that back there?”
She lifted those honey-gold brown eyes to mine slowly, like she wasn’t really sure she wanted to do it, but after staring at me for a beat, she finally responded. “Thomas. My ex fiancé.”
Aw fuck.“The same one who stole your dog?”
She nodded. “I only have the one.”
For a second, she looked exactly like she had that night in the bar when she’d first told me about it, seeming hurt, frustrated,and a little bit lost, but then her features hardened and she took a big step back. She still seemed heartbroken, but she was also suddenly giving me a look that made me want to cower, which was new for me.
“What is your fucking problem?” she demanded, coming right out with it after dragging in a deep breath.
“What do you mean?” I asked, still slightly winded and dripping onto her floor. “I saw that whole thing go down at the museum and?—”
“Don’t do that,” she snapped. “Don’t act like you’re confused and don’t know what I’m talking about. Why haven’t you called? Why haven’t you ended this fake relationship thing if you’re not even going to talk to me? You flew me home and then just disappeared, and you haven’t said a single word me to since.”
“Since?” I said slowly. “Since the kiss, right?”
Her jaw tightened, but she nodded and I sighed, that same sense of profound shame creeping through me. I opened my mouth to explain, but honestly, what the fuck did she want me to say? I’d kissed her, and it wasn’t just a regular kiss. It had resonated deep inside me in a way I had never felt before.
“I knew it,” she said. Her voice had changed again, a raw, fresh kind of hurt slipping through the cracks now. “I knew I wasn’t your type. I’m sorry if I grossed you out, or?—”
“What?” I cut in, completely thrown. “No. Noooo. It wasn’t that. Oh my God, Jacque, it’s the opposite. I liked it too much, and this is supposed to be a business arrangement. My family always says I’m a screw-up and I can’t help but feel I proved them right by crossing that line with you.”
Jacqueline looked stunned by my response, like it had never occurred to her the issue was the arrangement, not her somehow being unworthy. If anything, she was too good for a guy like me.