Me: I am enjoying it. I think.
Miranda: You think?
That wasn’t a bad question, actually. As I stared at the screen, it dawned on me that in fact,thatwas the problem. Here I was, in Hawaii, and I honestly didn’t know if I was enjoying it anymore.
The way Jesse had looked at me before the kiss compared to how he’d looked at me after, like I’d done something wrong, made it feel like perhaps something had broken between us. I didn’t know if it was me, him, or the both of us, but that easy camaraderie I’d felt with him since that night at the bar certainly seemed to be gone. It was a bit sad, really. I genuinely had enjoyed the strangely natural connection we’d had.
Me: I’ll tell you when I’m back.
Miranda: Good. Stay out of trouble.
I snorted.Well, it might just be too late for that.
Stowing my phone back in my purse, I finally got up, left some cash for my drink, and wandered around the quirky town with what remained of my latte in hand. Drifting in and out of little shops, I made a few purchases for my apartment back in Chicago. Nothing big since I had to take it back to the house on the bicycle, but just a few small mementos of a trip that was ending far less pleasantly than it’d begun.
Once I’d looked around at everything that had captured my attention, I headed back to the bike and slowly rode home.Well, home for a little while longer.
I parked the bike back where I’d found it when I arrived. Brushing my hands off, I ventured back inside the house, knowing immediately that he was back. I didn’t even have to see him. There was just something different in the air, a presence I couldn’t explain.
As soon as I walked into the main living space, my suspicion was confirmed. Jesse stood near the window with his phone pressed to his ear, dressed in slacks and a button-up shirt like he hadn’t spent the last few days mostly barefoot and borderline feral with me on the beach. He cast a quick glance in my direction, then looked away again without so much as a nod.
“I’ll be in Chicago by tonight,” he said into the phone. “I’ll swing by the office and we can discuss it then.”
My heart sank.Tonight? Wow. That’s faster than I thought.
Sighing, I turned and walked to my bedroom to start packing. I already knew that the talk I’d been hoping we would have when he returned wouldn’t be happening. We were simply leaving. Just like that, and whatever might’ve been brewing between us was done. Over long before it had ever even begun.
I had to keep reminding myself it was for the best.
CHAPTER 19
JESSE
Yeah. Jacqueline knows something is up.
She had to. There was no way she didn’t. I’d practically bolted out of that pool like I’d just committed a crime, but shit. The fluttery feelings in my chest when I kissed her had scared the hell out of me. It wasn’t simple desire or lust.
I scrubbed a hand over my face, staring out the window of the jet as the island disappeared beneath us. Last night in that pool, I’d completely lost my mind for a solid thirty seconds and then panicked like a teenager, and we probably should’ve talked about it, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to broach the subject.
That would mean saying it out loud and I just wasn’t ready to do that. As a guy who generally owned every bad decision I’d ever made, this was uncharted territory for me, but fuck, my fake girlfriend was getting under my skin and I had no idea how to handle the complicated knot of emotions in my chest.
I should have never let myself cross the boundaries we had established. Now that I’d had a taste of her, I desperately wanted more.
But with elephant on the jet with us, neither of us said anything else either. For the entire flight back, she avoided meand I let it happen, burying myself in work instead. Focusing on anything other than the memory of her mouth on mine and how stupidly good it had felt.
By the time we finally landed, I was in motion before the plane’s wheels had even stopped moving. In a rush to get the contract over to the office before the ink was even fully dry, I packed up my laptop, and as soon as we came to a standstill, I was out of the door like a shot.
By next week, W&S would have another acquisition and I’d be able to focus on other things, like trying to figure out how to undo this absolute shitshow I’d produced by not knowing how to control myself for five minutes.
For now, however, I’d arranged for a separate driver to be waiting to take her home. He strode up to the plane when I felt her disembark behind me, quickly introducing himself before moving forward to collect her luggage.
My own driver opened the back door and I turned briefly to face her, rolling my lips into my mouth. She didn’t even look at me before disappearing into the other waiting car, though. A pang shot through me at the sight. I hated this, but at least neither of us had the opportunity to say something we couldn’t take back.
So instead of even saying goodbye, I just watched as she shut her door behind her, still not even sparing me so much as a glance. Through the lightly tinted windows, I saw her lean back against the seat and let her eyes slide shut. That was it.
Moments later, her bags had been loaded into the trunk and she was gone, the taillights of the car disappearing around the bend.
“Go,” I told my own driver after sliding into my seat. “We’re headed to W&S.”