He barely looks up at me with an expression that’s more blank than ashamed.
“It’ll be better if I don’t sleep at the apartment tonight,” Derek says, like he isn’t talking about ripping our life apart. Ripping our life apart because hefucked his sister.
It takes everything not to scream.
I want it to stop. I want him to stop talking. I want this to stop happening. It’s not fair. None of this is fair. My chest starts playing games with me and I worry that any reply I could possibly give this man will only result in me assaulting him.
“You are disgusting.”
“This is not what I wanted to happen,” he says, like he’s reading some fuck-ass script they hand out to all men selfish and stupid enoughto cheat.
“No, Derek, you don’t understand… You. Are. Sick.”
Now he looks bewildered. And pathetic. “What do you want me to do?”
“Apologize, maybe!?” I screech, my voice cracking just as much as my psyche. Maybe it’s a good thing this happened today. Because if I didn’t have Harvard admissions to worry about, I would leap on him and try to scratch his eyes out. Derek keeps talking, making things even worse with his stupid explanations.
“Our family vacation trips get crazy sometimes. I didn’twantto cheat on you.”
I try to collect myself. But it’s not working. I feel like I’m having a conversation with an alien who doesn’t have a grip on normal human behavior. I don’t know who this man is, but he’s not my boyfriend.
“You fucked your sister, Derek. You didn’t just cheat on me. You’re…” My voice is shrill again.
I don’t even know what he is. Disgusting? Sick in the head? A monster? I want him very far away from me, but I can’t even find a single word that would bring me closure or make me feel even remotely okay with this.
“Um, what’s going on?”
I turn around to see Averie with the long-term client that she’s been waxing for over five years. I guess they finished their session and probably heard everything. Ouch. Adriana is too glamorous for this, so she fastens her wool coat and pats my sister on the back before slipping out the door.
The rest of us just stand there, locked in the uncomfortable tension until Adriana leaves. I don’t take my gaze off Derek for a second until the little bells over the door ring and the metal clicks shut.
I don’t know this man at all. The sickening churning in my stomach gets worse. He saw his family last month. We haveslept together since then. I slept with a man who fucked his sister. Who barely sees anything wrong with it.
It takes everything in my power not to vomit as I stare at Derek and wonder where the fuck the red flags were? How did I miss all of them?
Welivetogether. I trusted this man. And he came here in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon to tell me…
“Nothing,” Derek says boldly, answering my sister as if this is a normal fucking afternoon. “Gabby and I were just talking. I should probably go.”
“Are you serious?” I scream at him. “That’s it, you’re gonna go?”
My eyes quietly scan the room, like anyone who feels under threat. But I feel crazy and unfocused, since there’s nothing there. No camera crew to jump out and tell me this is all some fucked up prank.
“Gabby, what happened?” Averie says, addressing me directly this time with that concerned older sister voice that only makes me realize that not only is this happening, but it’s real, and there’s no going back from it.
I grab my sister’s essential oil diffuser from the front desk and fling it at Derek while I scream, “HE CHEATED ON ME!”
Derek catches the diffuser, but he’s red in the face and seems to be looking around him for a place to set it down and run away.
“What?” Averie asks, just as blind-sided and surprised as I was.
“With his sister!” I yell again, my voice cracking as I break down into uncontrollable angry sobs. Derek sets the diffuser down on a table behind him and I want to rip the whole desktop computer out and fling it at his head.
My body trembles with the urge to fight. Or just get this toxic fucking energy out. I let out a blood curdling scream andimpulsively throw myself at Derek in pure rage with my fists swinging. I’m not a fighter and have no clue what the hell I’m doing. My body smacks against something firm instead and my sister’s arms wrap around me as she holds me back.
Derek stumbles towards the door while I scream. “You are disgusting! You are a disgusting freak and you’re not even sorry!”
I try to pull away from Averie to lunge at him again, but she holds me back and Derek stops meeting my gaze. Once he pulls his gaze away from me, I know it’sreallyover and there won’t be any closure or any explanation from the man I trusted with my life as to how the hell he fell into bed with his… family member. I retch and fall deeper into Averie’s arms, unable to get away.