She giggled, her head on my chest. “Whatever you say big man.” her fingers played across my chest, soothing me.
“Believe it, baby.” My eyes closed again. All I wanted was to lay here forever with her. Not having sex, just being with her.
She felt like home to me. I could be myself with her. And I never wanted this moment to end.
“I love you, Ryan.” She whispered it into my chest, right into my heart.
I didn’t want this day to ever end but I couldn’t say it back to her. I just couldn’t say the words.
***
She wasn’t in bed when I finally woke up. The room was in complete darkness which meant I had slept longer than I meant to.
Dimly I could hear music and some really really bad singing.
Smiling I settled back against the pillows. Any worries I had that Chelsea was pissed off because I hadn’t said I loved her back evaporated. She didn’t sound like she was angry. She didn’t sound good either, the girl could not carry a beat to save her life but she sounded happy. And that’s all I wanted really.
For Chelsea to be happy.
“Chels?” I called her name down the stairs.
“In the kitchen.” She called back. “Put your pants back on, dinners almost ready.”
Laughing I did what she asked before I headed down to her. She had drawn all the curtains so I could walk around without worrying if I was going to be seen.
“How come you got out of bed?” I settled myself at her small kitchen table. My long legs stretched out. As I watched her dish up buttery spaghetti into bowls.
“Can’t I feed my man?” She glanced back over her shoulder. A smile playing over her face. “Help him keep his energy up.” She wiggles her hips in time with the music.
“Baby I don’t have any problems keeping anything up with you.” Pushing my chair out. I patted my knee. “Why don’t you come and sit here and you can see for yourself?” I grinned at her.
“Has anyone told you lately that you are a sex pest Ryan?” She sauntered over to me though. My hands grabbing for her like I was a greedy toddler.
“Has anyone told you recently that you are fucking beautiful?” I countered burying my face into her sweet-smelling hair. “And that I love being here with you?”
She stiffened slightly like I had said something wrong. And then she laughed. Throwing her head back so her hair fell across my face.
“Not recently.”
“Well, I do.” There was so much more I wanted to tell her. So many secrets.
“Good to know, now let me go so I can feed you.” Her words were playful but there was something in her voice. A distance I didn’t like.
I was just powerless to do anything about it. I wanted to reassure her though. I might not be able to say the words but I wanted her to know.
Jesus, I wanted her to know just how fucking crazy I was about her.
Chapter Seventeen
Chelsea
Sunday came along too quickly. One minute it was Friday evening and the next second I had blinked and it was Sunday.
That was it. All we had together were those few lousy days to act like a real couple and then they were over.
From tomorrow we would go back to pretending that we didn’t care about each other. I had told him that I was ok with the way things were between us so many times but this weekend had shown me just how much more I wanted.
It hung between us. The fact that when I had told him I loved him, that he hadn’t said it back. Wicked cared about me, I knew that. I just wasn’t sure he cared about me enough. And that’s where the doubts had started seeping in again.