“We went to dinner on Thanksgiving and just really hit it off. I haven’t felt this way in years,mija. He just gets me.”
“So, what? You guys both gave up on trying to get clean?”
“I didn’t give up, Avalon. We had a couple of drinks.”
“I haven’t heard from you in—”
“I told you my phone was dead.”
“And you couldn’t find a phone to tell me you’re still alive?”
“You’re being dramatic. I’ll be spending a lot of time at Ronnie’s, okay? So, if you don’t hear from me, I’m there. Feel better?”
“No, I don’t feel better,” I mutter. “You told me this time was going to be different. You promised me this was going to be different.”
“Tomé un par de putos tragos, Avalon! Dios, soy un adulto. I can have a few drinks and not get lectured aboutit.”
“No, you can’t, that’s the problem. You can’t just have—”
My bedroom door opens, and Zeke walks out, freezing in the doorway with wide eyes when he realizes what’s happening.
“So, I can’t have a couple drinks, but you can have guys over whenever you want?”
“Zeke’s a friend. He’s been here becauseyouweren’t. He wanted to make sure I’m safe, something you’re unfamiliar with.”
“I don’t need to put up with this. I’m grabbing some of my things, and then I’ll go.”
“So, you’re moving out?” I ask. “Moving in with your new fling?”
“No. This is still my house, and I’ll be back whenever I damn, please. You just don’t need to worry about where I am now.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I mumble as she walks into her room, Ronnie following her, then slamming the door behind him.
I run my hands through my hair, releasing a shaky breath as Zeke pulls me into his arms. His lips meet the top of my head as he rubs circles on my back.
I thought getting a call that they found her dead in a ditch was the worst possible outcome of this situation, but I was wrong.
Somehow, this is worse.
Knowing she’s slowly going to disappear back into the fog of drugs and alcohol—
And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
twenty-seven
Zeke
Ihate seeing Avalon like this. Since the altercation with her mom, she’s lost her spark. Whenever we’re together, I can tell there’s something off. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is still great; I don’t think sex with Avalon can be anything but amazing; I just feel kind of guilty.
I know I’m not using her; I’ve even told her countless times we don’t have to have sex. That I can just be a friend and listen to all her rants. We didn’t have sex those few days that I stayed over while we were waiting for her mom to come home, and it didn’t feel weird.
Well, it did, but not because we had nothing to discuss. It felt weird because being together, without sex, felt normal. It felt comfortable. Which is the exact opposite of what both of us want. We don’t want to feel that way about each other. We can’t. I saw firsthand why she could never feel that way about me, and I don’t blame her. Worrying about her mom is a full-time job.
She’s consumed by that twenty-four-seven.
If I don’t stop by with food, she doesn’t eat. She doesn't leave her place if she doesn’t have a class. That’s the only reason I’m doing this. I want to make sure she takes care of herself. I want to makesure that if I can’t bring her food because I’m away for games, she’ll eat.
“Hey, Zeke.” Brinley’s standing in front of the sink washing some veggies, which I assume are for tonight’s dinner.