I don’t say anything; I just grab her arm and pull her body into mine, and she just crumbles to the floor. I run my hand over her hair, trying to soothe her, but I know there’s nothing I can say to calm her down, so I don’t talk. I just hold her and let her cry because I know sometimes that’s all you need. The comfort of knowing someone is there for you.
“She’s using again,” she mumbles against my chest. “I mean, I didn’t find proof, I looked everywhere, but I should’ve known when she didn’t come home last night that she fell off the wagon.”
I pull back, grabbing her face to get her to look at me.
“We’re gonna find her, okay? I’ll call every hospital if I have to. I’ll call anyone you can think of, I’ll drive anywhere, you just tell me what you need from me.”
“I’ve called the hospitals. They told me they'd let me know if someone matching her description came in.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “Is there anywhere your mom would’ve gone?”
She rubs her snot onto the sleeve of her shirt, “She was supposed to be with Jay, but when I asked him how AA went yesterday, he said she wanted to go alone.”
“Does he know she didn’t come home? And that she got home late on Thanksgiving?”
I can’t imagine the guilt Avalon’s feeling right now. She told me on Thanksgiving that something was up. I stayed here until nearly seven thirty; her mom wasn’t home yet. I could tell she was worried, but I could also tell she didn’t wanna be that person. The one who instantly thinks the worst of their parents, even though they’ve done nothing to prove they’re better than that.
“No. Jay’s busy, and he’s always doing stuff for us, and he deserves better. He’s been in love with my mom for years, and she can’t even see it. I thought she felt like we were finally a family, just like I did, but I guess I was wrong.”
I run my thumb against her cheek, brushing away her tears. “You should get some rest. Have you eaten anything today?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat, okay.” I pick her up off the floor and bring her into her room. “But first, get some rest. I’ll wake you up when I get back with—”
“Please don’t go,” she whispers as I pull the covers over her. “Can you stay with me tonight? Please?”
“Sure,” I reply, kicking off my shoes and turning off the light in her room.
“If you need something to sleep in, I’m pretty sure I have a Rockford Hockey t-shirt somewhere.” She forces a smile, and I shoot her one back.
I climb into bed beside her, and she instantly scoots closer, wrapping her arms around my waist. I pull her closer, her head resting on my chest.
“Thank you for coming.”
I place a gentle kiss on the top of her head, “Always.”
twenty-six
Avalon
December
Zeke’s spent the last few nights over here. I don’t know what he’s telling the guys or if the guys are even aware that he hasn’t been sleeping at home, but I don’t care enough to ask. The whole situation already feels weird. I don’t know when things started to change, but with him staying here these last few nights, it no longer feels like a no-strings-attached relationship.
I didn’t even ask him to stay with me past that first night; he just came here after his game the next night and then spent the whole day here on Sunday. And then yesterday, I gave him a copy of the key, which could’ve been a mistake on my part, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice to come home to him after class yesterday.
He told me on Saturday that he would stay with me until my mom came home… I don’t think he expected her to still be gone.
But she is.
And I haven’t heard from her in nearly a week. Neither has Jay. Which only means one thing, she’s fallen off the wagon.
“Hi,” Zeke mumbles, his eyes opening to meet mine. I wouldn’t say I was staring at him; I was just admiring how peaceful he looked. “Did you sleep okay?”
He asks me this question every morning, and every morning, I lie to him. I sleep better knowing he’s here, but my mind also races, wondering if a call is going to come about them finding my mom’s body.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I did.”