“I guess I deserve that.” He sits forward, clasping his hands. “How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been fine.” I want to add, ‘No thanks to you,’but I feel like I already set the tone for this meeting. “You know, for finding out that the dad who abandoned me took no time in starting over with someone else. How old is your daughter? She looks to be about eleven.”
Okay… maybe this was a bad idea. I didn’t accept his invitation to attack him this whole lunch.
He coughs. “Abigail will be eleven next month. Auggie’s eight.”
“Do they know about me? Does your wife?”
He scratches his eyebrow, leaning forward against the table. “They don’t. And I’d appreciate it if—”
“I didn’t tell them?” I laugh. “So what was this supposed to be? You wanted to meet me to make sure I wouldn’t try to have a relationship with you? That I wouldn’t try and ruin your new perfect family?”
“Avalon,” he begins, “it’s not like that. I do want to get to know you. I just don’t want them to meet you until I know that it’s worth it.”
“I don’t want a relationship with you,” I argue. “Of any kind. Honestly, the only reason I came today was to see what bullshit youtried to feed me about why you needed to leave. But you proved to me who you were before you even showed up.”
“I needed to leave because being with your mom wasn’t healthy for either of us,” he responds.
“Just because your relationship with her wasn’t healthy doesn’t mean you couldn’t stay in my life. You like to use Mom as an excuse, but you ran away like a coward!” I yell. “You let me grow up in that house with her. You thought it was difficult for you; did you even stop to think about me?”
“I’m sorry, Avalon. I guess I didn’t think about it at the time. I thought you’d be better off with your grandparents than with me.”
“Well, they died not long after you left,” I continue. “Which meant me taking care of a drug addict mother instead of anyone taking care of me. Do you know what that does to a kid? Wondering what you were going to come home to. Who you were going to come home to.”
“I’m sorry, Avalon. I never thought about what kind of situation I’d be leaving you in.”
“Yeah, well, you were never one to think about others.” I stand up. “This was a mistake. I’m super happy you got your fresh start, but I’m in the middle of getting mine, and I don’t want you to be a part of it. I don’t need you to be a part of it.”
“Avalon,” he says as I drop cash on the table.
“Save it.” I hold a hand up to stop him. “Good luck with your new family. I hope you stick around for this one.”
forty-three
Zeke
Ican’t remember the last time I saw my dad. Between school, hockey, and visiting Mom, I haven’t been home to see him. Not that he’s around. He spends most of his time in the office, avoiding the responsibility of taking care of my mom.
But she’s out of the hospital now and back home. Which means dinners now involve my dad again. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he abandoned me, not like Avalon’s parents. But since my mom’s been in the hospital, face-to-face conversations haven’t happened in a while.
So, I have no idea how this dinner’s going to go. I didn’t even know my dad knew about Avalon until my mom invited both of us to the house tonight.
“What’s he like?” Avalon looks at me as we pull into the driveway. “Your dad?”
“He’s a nice guy. I really looked up to him as a kid.”
“You don’t talk about him a lot. I know he hasn’t really been there for your mom, not when she’s in the hospital, but—”
“My mom always tells me it doesn’t make him a bad guy. Hospitals are hardfor him.”
“They can’t be easy for you.” She grabs my hand. “Watching your mom constantly going in and out of them. You were only sixteen and had to take on so much responsibility.”
“You were much younger than me, dealing with even worse.”
She taps my cheek. “It’s not a competition. We both went through hard things as kids. Things no one should have to.”
“Without those things, I don’t know if you’d be next to me in this car.”