“I swear on my life.” He raises his palm up and his other hand covers his heart. Once he’s done gloating, he stops and stares at me, looking disappointed that I’m not scared.
Now it’s my turn to burst into a fit of laughter. I don’t know what’s come over me. All the tension feels lifted from my shoulders as I double over.
“What’s so funny, man?”
“You—” I can barely wheeze out my words. “You should see your face.”
Jarrod furrows his brow, his face painted with confusion. Mr. Know-It-All is desperate to get the upper hand, but I can’t stop laughing long enough to explain.
When I finally gain enough composure to offer an explanation, I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to keep a straight face. “You were just so committed to the story. You were so in it. Like you really wanted to scare the shit out of me. And it was good. It wasreallygood. It made me realize what a wimp I’ve been about staying here.”
A big grin fills the jock’s face. Now we’re both laughing hysterically, shoulders pressed together, just trying not to fall over.
“Okay, okay,” I say finally. My stomach muscles burn, like I’ve just done a bunch of crunches. “I can’t laugh anymore. I feel like I’m gonna die if I do.”
Jarrod wipes at his eyes. “No, dude, don’t die. Then you’ll be part of the legend too.”
All I can offer is a muted guffaw. I’m all laughed out. “Thanks, I needed that.” I stand and head toward the tent. “I guess I’m gonna unroll my sleeping bag and try to get some rest. It’s going to be a long night with us waking up to take selfies every hour. Might as well get some sleep when I can.”
“Good idea,” Jarrod agrees. “I’ll get mine ready too.”
It feels good to have shared a laugh with my roommate. I think all the mixed up feelings I have for him have made this camping trip twice as hard as it should have been. All we have to do is spend the night out here. It’s not that much to do, really.
I’m still kind of embarrassed that he caught me jacking off while thinking about him. But he seems to be okay with it. I feel much better about the prospect of us sharing a room together. It’s just dumb frat boy lust. Surely I’ll get it out of my system and get over him.
Working by the light of the lantern, I unroll my sleeping bag while Jarrod does the same. At first, I’m confused. I stare at the flimsy piece of quilted polyester in my hands, then look at Jarrod, and he looks at me. I feel around, turning the bag over, then flipping it around. I can’t comprehend what I’m seeing.
Jarrod scowls. “What the hell, man?”
“No way.”
I turn the bag over again. Turn it inside out, upside down. “Where’s the lining? Where’s the padding?”
It seems we reach the same conclusion at the same moment. “Chad,” we say in unison. This must be the work of our chapter president. He’s the only one evil enough to pull a prank like this.
Our sleeping bags aren’t really bags at all. They’ve been modified, all of the stuffing removed and the seams stitched back into place. A single ply of silky material is all we were given. A roll of toilet paper would offer about as much warmth.
“How cold is it supposed to get tonight?”
“Down to the low ‘50s,” I say.
“That’s not...too bad, right?”
I check my phone. “Damn it. We still have ten hours to go. I guess we have to make the best of it. This isn’t ideal, but it’s not like we’ll die.”
Jarrod frowns. “The only person who’s going to die this weekend is Chad.”
CHAPTER 5
We make our best effort to get comfortable inside our sleeping bags, though it’s a joke to even call them bags. The first few hours are filled with silence as we drift in and out of sleep. I don’t normally go to bed this early, but when it’s pitch black and all you’re doing is lying there, it’s kind of inevitable.
My phone chirps an annoying reminder every hour to take a selfie. Our efforts get sloppier, and by eleven, I’m merely holding the phone up over our heads, where we squint to avoid the blaring flash as I snap the picture. I don’t bother checking if it’s blurry or even if we’re fully in the shot. Who the hell cares. I just want to make it through the night. Hopefully by this time in 24 hours, we’ll join the initiation ceremony and then we’ll be living it up at the fraternity’s legendary fall party. I smile to myself as I imagine red Solo cups overflowing with beer.
Sometime after midnight, I wake up with a shudder. The temperature has drastically dropped, or at least it seems that way. Without Internet access, I can’t be certain of exactly how cold it is outside. But the low ‘50s feel a lot colder without sunlight.
I roll over to my side and pull my knees to my chest. My movement stirs Jarrod, and then I hear his teeth chattering in my ear.
“F-f-fuck it’s c-cold,” he stutters.