“Great. I don’t have time for this. I should have been on the road fifteen minutes ago.”
I look down at the padded envelope. It’s only inches from the guy’s feet. I’m seriously contemplating swiping the package and slamming the door shut. This isn’t my problem. All I want to do is dump a box of Cocoa Krispies into a mixing bowl and chow down while playing Nintendo.
“Can you do me a favor and try calling both of them?” The man’s eyes soften. “Please? Maybe they’ll answer if you call. Then we can sort this out.”
I close the door halfway and lean against the back of it. “Look, mister, I don’t even know what this is about.”
The man’s face flushes pink. He pinches the bridge in his nose and exhales loudly. “I’m going to the beach for the weekend. John’s supposed to housesit while I’m gone. He said it was no problem.”
Then something clicks into place and I remember where I’ve seen this guy. “Oh, right, you’re the dude who lives behind us.”
The man nods. “Yeah, I’m that ’dude.’”
“Then you must be talking about John Miller. John Davis would never agree to help someone.”
“Good, okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Can you call John Miller from your phone? He’s not picking up when I call.”
I suck in air through my teeth. “Look, that wouldn’t do any good. John went to the beach for the weekend with his girlfriend.”
“What?!” A vein pulses in the man’s forehead.
“Yeah, um, that’s John for you. He means well, but he spaces out like all the time. He probably just forgot.”
The man shakes his head. “Great. Just great. So John gets to enjoy the beach and I have to cancel on my friends and stay home.”
I choke back a laugh and say, “A guy your age still goes to the beach with his friends?”
The man’s blue eyes turn to ice. “Yes, a guy my age still goes to the beach with his friends. I’m 42, not 92.”
“I’m so sorry.” I hold my hands up defensively. “I just woke up and came out here to grab that package by your feet. I haven’t had any coffee yet and I’m not thinking straight.”
The man picks up the envelope and hands it to me. “No, I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. Thanks for letting me know about John.”
As I watch my neighbor stomp away, my hazy brain finally puts two and two together. “Hey, wait. Were you paying John to housesit?”
The man turns around and nods. “Yeah. Fifty bucks a day to feed my cat and water my plants.”
“How many days?”
“Three. Are you interested?”
“I think so.” I step out from the door, forgetting I’m half naked until the man’s eyes wash over my bare skin again.
“You’re not going to run off with your girlfriend, are you?”
I laugh and wave away the thought. “Not a chance.”
“Alright,” the man says, “that would be great. Wanna get dressed and meet me over at my house?”
I feel the heat crawl up my cheeks as I cover my protruding cock with the envelope. “Yeah, I’ll be over there in five minutes.”
He nods. “See you soon.”
I rush back into the house and up the stairs to grab a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt from my bed. On the way out, I stop in the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine so I’ll have a fresh cup waiting for me. Two of my housemates, Cole and David, are sitting at the table.
“Hey, Lance,” Cole says to me. “What was that all about?”
“Apparently John Miller skipped town after promising to housesit for the neighbor behind us. I offered to do the job instead.”