Chapter 4
I mostly tossed and turned in bed that night, feeling frustrated at the way things ended with Bear. It was a strange thing we had going on. I was still trying to piece it together.
What was real and what was part of his game? I was having trouble finding the truth between the layers of role play and reality.
My heavy eyelids finally retreated just as the glow of daylight began creeping through my bedroom curtains. I fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake until noon.
A raging case of morning wood was tenting my bedsheets. It had been a week since my cock stood freely, and it was taking full advantage of the freedom.
I reached under the covers and tightened my grip around my shaft, feeling the warmth and weight of it. Then I lifted my fist up past the tip, caressing the silky smooth head, and stroked all the way down to the root of my shaft. A chill shot straight up to my nipples, hardening them like pink diamonds.
Another firm stroke up and back down again. Fuuuuck, it felt so good. It would probably only take five pumps to get my rocks off. What sweet relief that would be.
But something stopped me.
I unhinged my palm and stumbled into my bathroom to take a cold shower instead. I was going to hold out as long as I could.
My usual Sunday routine resumed, a little later than usual. Laundry, dishes, catching up on bills. A few of my friends were going out for dinner and drinks that night and sent out a group text to make plans.
I apologized and said I couldn't join them. I was feeling strangely reclusive, which wasn't like me.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday went by in a blur. I felt like I was drunk on endorphins or something. There were a couple of times I felt the urge to jack off, but mostly, I was alright. Thursday and Friday were a bit more challenging, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
I had plans to make amends with Bear, and I had to stay focused. I hoped he would forgive me. Maybe we could try again. Just the chance of doing that with him was more appealing than the empty pleasure I'd feel getting off the same way I always did.
When Saturday finally rolled around again, I found myself counting the hours until evening. It had been seven days since I last saw Bear, and eight since I'd shot a load. I didn't even know if he'd be at the baths that night, or if he'd agree to hear me out. I had to try.
I took a shower and slipped on a black mesh jockstrap that I thought he'd enjoy. It showed off my cock like a prize encased in netting. The jockstrap outlined my round bottom, which I hoped he'd devour the same way he had two weeks before. I shivered just remembering the feel of his bushy beard against my skin and his wet tongue buried inside me.
Darkness finally fell on the city and my body felt electrified when I walked into the bathhouse at 8:45. I passed by Bear's usual private room. The door was open and the room was vacant, but that didn't mean he wasn't around. I made a beeline to the locker room, nodding and greeting friends if I had to, but trying to get through so I could chuck my t-shirt and jeans into a locker and go Bear hunting with a capital "B."
With a white towel wrapped around my waist, I passed the private room again. It was still unoccupied, so I took a quick lap through the lounge, just to see if Bear was there. When I confirmed he wasn't, I made a lap back to the steam room. I was zig-zagging all through the building. It was silly that I'd never insisted on getting his phone number. He brushed it off the one time I asked, and I didn't push further because it felt even more dangerous not knowing how to contact him when he had the key.
I got to the steam room and the warm mist hit my face as I navigated through a cloud. When I got to the back of the room, my heart sank. Bear wasn't anywhere to be found. I wondered if he was in a different private room with someone else. Suddenly I felt jealous, although I didn't have a reason to be. It was a bathhouse, after all.
But whatever it was, that strange power he had over me, I wanted all his attention. I walked back out to the hallway and stood outside the door of the same private room he'd had before. Now the door was closed and I felt a hot surge of anger.
I jiggled the knob. It was locked. I pounded against the door like a crazy boyfriend. What was I doing? What if someone else was in there?
To my relief, Bear opened the door to greet me. He was wearing a white towel with just a hint of that familiar black leather jockstrap peeking out of the top side. He smiled when he saw me. A playful twinkle was in his eye.
"You're ready," he confirmed.
I greeted him with a slow, tender kiss. "I am."
He closed the door behind me and dropped his towel on the floor.
"I have trouble giving up control," I confessed. "There's a wall I like to keep between my partners and me, and that's how I do it. I figured this was just a place for fucking, so at first, I wondered why it mattered to you so much."
"What did you come up with?"
"Well, I started thinking about these magic powers you're supposed to have. Your reputation for knowing how to give guys exactly what they need. It got me thinking that maybe if I let down my walls, I really could experience something special, something I'd never felt before."
Bear was smiling like a proud teacher on his student's graduation day. "You finally get it."
"How did you know what I needed?"
"Must be the magic." He leaned into me and pressed his thick lips against mine. My whole body felt like it was vibrating. Electricity was in the air and I could feel it all over me. I was primed and ready. This is what he was preparing me for. In that moment, I knew I was about to go somewhere I'd never gone before.