“Gramps, you know how we grew up.Mom and Dad were never around.If Dad wasn’t on a run for the club, they were off traveling the roads on the bike.Especially when we got older.I had to grow up before I was a teenager to take care of my brothers and still go to school.I was takin’ care of the household stuff and tryin’ to live my life playin’ sports, goin’ to school, and everythin’ else.That’s after all the stuff we saw at the clubhouse when we had no business witnessin’ that kind of stuff at such a young age.I feel as if I’ve been an adult since the age of twelve.
“I know you helped us and made sure you were there for us every single day.Don’t think I didn’t see that or realize how much you were doin’ for us, because I did.We spent more time at your house than our own once Mom and Dad decided to forget they had children.Those years were so hard because I feel as if I lost the closeness Nolan, Brice, and I had when we were younger.I was forced to take care of them instead of gettin’ in trouble with them like a normal kid.Now, I don’t just own and run a garage, but I’m the President of this club and have way more responsibilities than ever before.I don’t have time to be there for an ol’ lady and kids of my own.That’s why I spend as much time as I can with my nieces and nephews,” I say, taking a long sip of my water before replacing the cap and setting it back on the table in front of me.“I don’t regret anythin’ from my past, Gramps.I would do it all over again if it meant the boys were taken care of and didn’t have to worry about everythin’ like I did.I just refuse to be selfish like Mom and Dad were.”
“Other than feelin’ as if you had to grow up way too fast, what did you feel back then?”Gramps asks me as I lean back in my chair and think about his question for a few minutes.
“I was lonely.Before they started leavin’ us alone on a regular basis, I had friends, went out after practice and games, did more than my homework and helpin’ out my brothers.As they left us alone more often, I lost all of that.I had the house, boys, and school to worry about over everythin’ else.I couldn’t relate when my friends would talk about goin’ out to watch a new movie or hang out after school because that wasn’t an option for me to do any longer.Nolan and Brice were there at the house with me, but I had to step into that parent role instead of bein’ a kid with them.So, I felt all alone in the world instead of as if I were a participant in my own life.And I was so tired.Every single day it seemed as if I had more to do and less time to do it in,” I tell him honestly as he looks at me with a sadness I rarely see on his face.
“I’m sorry, Braydon.You should never have had to deal with any of that.Your parents were always selfish.Even before the three of you were born, I knew they would always choose themselves and the relationship they had over everythin’ else.My hope was that when you were born, they would change their ways and grow the hell up.For a while, it looked as if they were doin’ just that.I remember them takin’ you boys everywhere with them, always sharin’ your accomplishments, and lovin’ you like they should as parents.Your dad started takin’ less runs and let the guys without kids go on them over him.Your mom quit her job to stay home with the three of you as you were growin’ up.She told me once she wanted to be there like her parents weren’t for her.Again, for a while, they made it happen.Then, they simply made the decision to go back to their selfish ways again.That had nothin’ to do with any of you boys.You didn’t do anythin’ wrong,” Gramps tells me as he leans forward and rests his arms on the table in front of him.
“I’m not sayin’ we did anythin’ to make them choose the actions they took before their death.All I’m sayin’ is it was because of their actions that I suffered.I stopped bein’ a kid and became an adult.Now, I have Wren, who’s pregnant with my child, and all I keep doin’ is pushin’ her away.I don’t even know how I feel about her or the situation because I refuse to think about it,” I say as Death and Talon enter the common room and join us at the table.
“You do know how you feel, Bray,” Gramps states and the tone of his voice leaves no room for argument.
“What I know is I can’t stop thinkin’ about her.She’s in my head all hours of the day and in my dreams every damn night.I’ve dreamt of havin’ a future with her.Gettin’ married, havin’ kids of our own, and everythin’ my brothers have with their ol’ ladies.Then I wake up and I remember what we went through.Wren already hates me and if we were together she’d only hate me more than she does now.I won’t have time for her or our kids and they’ll feel the same as I did growin’ up.I don’t want them to feel as if they aren’t good enough for me to spend time with.To want to be there for them every single day.Yeah, I felt that when I was younger a little bit.Our children would be the ones to suffer because we’d be fightin’ or upset with one another,” I say as Death and Talon accept the drinks Wyatt brings over to them before leaving us alone again.
“You’re fallin’ in love with her, Bray.There’s no doubt about it.And you’ve already proven you’re so much better than our parents without even tryin’,” Talon says as he leans forward and looks at no one but me.“Mom and Dad were assholes.They should have been there for us and chose themselves instead.You know how that made you feel and what you went through as the oldest child.That tells me you won’t repeat their mistakes if you choose to live your life with Wren and the baby she’s already carryin’.You’ve already taken two days to go spend hours sittin’ in the diner she works at just because you couldn’t stop thinkin’ about her and wanted to see her.Even if she didn’t say a single word to you.Fury also told us how you spent every damn day in the hospital, waitin’ in the hall because you weren’t allowed in her room.Mom and Dad wouldn’t have done that shit for someone they weren’t with.”
“I’m tellin’ ya right now, Iwillbe in that baby’s life, Bray.Don’t give a fuck what you do, but I will be there for Wren and your son or daughter because they’re family.The second she found out she was pregnant, Wren became family.And I know Fury will be there for her as well.That man can see what a great woman Wren is.The only reason he hasn’t made a move on her is because you’re his best friend,” Nolan tells me and I know he’s not just saying the words, he means them with every ounce of his soul.
“I’m gonna be there for them as well.And I know Gramps will too.He doesn’t even have to say a word.Bray, you need to get your head outta your ass, realize you’re so much better than our parents ever were, and talk to Wren about this shit.She deserves to know why you’re actin’ the way you are instead of thinkin’ she’s done somethin’ wrong.From what Zach and Tristan have told me, that’s exactly where her head is.She doesn’t think she’s good enough for you and you’ve done nothin’ but treat her like a Rebel.Worse than a Rebel if I’m bein’ honest,” Brice tells me as the front door of the clubhouse opens and I look over to see Tristan, Zach, and Wren making their way inside.
Wren is carrying a takeout cup of some sort and I can almost guarantee it’s a milkshake.She’s been drinking them every time I’ve seen her recently.Mainly chocolate, but every now and then it’s a different flavor from what I’ve heard.Today she’s wearing a long, black dress that emphasizes her belly and her hair has been left down.I didn’t realize how long it was until this very moment.Wren’s hair goes almost all the way down to her ass.She laughs at something Zach says as Fury enters the common room and heads straight for her.He gives her a big hug and rage fills me as he holds her in his arms for longer than necessary.
“That right there is all I need to see,” Nolan says as I look at him for a second to find a smirk on his face.“You’re fuckin’ jealous Fury is huggin’ her right now.”
Fury finally lets go of Wren and smiles down at her as they speak.I don’t know what’s being said, but for the first time since she left the clubhouse, Fury is happy and smiling.He’s not moping around here with a glare on his face every time I see him.It’s like my best friend has transformed into a different man right in front of our eyes.While I like seeing him this way, I hate that Wren’s the reason for it.
After a few minutes, Wren’s gaze finds me and she starts walking over to me.Tristan, Zach, and Fury remain close to her and I know it’s so they can step in if I say or do something to hurt her.
“Judge, I just came from a doctor’s appointment.The babies are doing good and everything is progressing normally.Just wanted to let you know that.Also, I don’t want anything from you moving forward.We don’t need your guilt money.I’m more than capable of taking care of things on my own.You don’t want to be involved, stay all the way out.I’m not going to come to you once I have them to demand child support or anything else,” she tells me, a glare aimed at me and I know she’s talking about the tip we left her the other day at the diner.
“What do you mean when you say babies?”I ask her, stuck on that one word.
“I’m having twins.I had an ultrasound today and this time the second baby was visible and not hiding behind the other one.That’s the last time you’ll hear anything about the pregnancy or babies moving forward.I was in town so I thought I’d have this conversation with you now,” she tells me as Nolan stands from his seat and pulls her in for a hug.My brother whispers something to her and I watch as she nods in response.
When Nolan releases her, Brice stands up and gives her another hug.Again, he whispers something to her and she nods in response to his words.Gramps is the last one to stand and give her a hug.I can tell she’s becoming overwhelmed and I’m not sure how she feels about everyone touching her right now.Still, I’m stuck on the fact that she’s having twins.Two fucking babies.My babies.
“If you need anythin’, you call me, Darlin’,” Gramps tells her when he pulls away from her.“Don’t let Judge ruin this for the rest of us.We want to be in your life and get to know the babies when you have them.”
“Thank you.I promise I won’t let that happen.You’re not him and have been nothing but kind to me.I have to get going, but I’ll talk to you soon,” she says, leaving us as she makes her way back over to the other guys in the common room.
Wren doesn’t spend much longer in the clubhouse.She has a conversation with Fury while Zach and Tristan wait for her.I watch as Fury gives her another hug before letting her leave with the two Prospects.When he turns back around, the glare is back in place and his smile has vanished.He greets my brothers and Gramps while ignoring me.Fury doesn’t remain in the common room as he makes his way upstairs.My eyes go back to the door, but the Prospects don’t re-enter the clubhouse again.
“They’re followin’ her back to her apartment.None of us want her to break down on the side of the road with no help close by.If you remember, she took the car before the guys had a chance to work on it.I know she’s maintained it, but she’s pregnant now and it’s too hot for her to be in the heat,” Nolan informs me as I open my bottle and take another sip of my water for something to do.Everyone seems to know more about Wren than I do lately.This time, jealousy fills me and I call it what it is.I should be the one who knows all this shit and I’m the last one she wants to know anything about her life or what’s going on.
“Tristan said she couldn’t get in to a doctor where she’s livin’ now and that’s the only reason she’s in town today.She won’t be comin’ back here if she doesn’t have to,” Brice informs me as I see the door open and Tristan enters the clubhouse.
He walks behind the bar to grab something and talks to Wyatt for a few minutes.During that time, he doesn’t once look in our direction.For the first time since moving to Briar Glen, I don’t feel as if this place is my home.I feel like an outsider while everyone else belongs.The fault is mine because I treated Wren in a way no one here would ever condone.These are the consequences for my actions so I have no one to blame but myself.Now I just have to figure out how the hell to fix all the problems I’ve created in the one place we shouldn’t have to deal with rifts of any kind.We won’t start to heal again until I figure my shit out and make some concrete decisions about my life, Wren, and our babies.