JUDGE ONCE AGAIN leavesme alone in his bedroom.I hear the shower turn on and wait a minute until I hear him get in the shower.He left the door open just enough so I can hear what he’s doing.Getting off the bed with a wince because my back and thigh are killing me, I grab my clothes and slide the sweatpants back on while holding my shirt in front of my body.Hopefully I can get into my room without anyone seeing me.With the shirt covering my chest, I open the door just enough to stick my head out and make sure no one else is in the hallway.Seeing no one, I rush to my door as quickly as I can and open it.Stepping inside, I close the door behind me and lock it.There are way too many men here tonight and they’ve all been drinking since they got back from Razer’s funeral.I don’t think any of them would intentionally hurt me, but I’m not willing to take that risk either.Dropping the shirt in a laundry basket by the door, I walk over to the bed and carefully get in.
Sleep doesn’t claim me immediately like I thought it would.I’m exhausted from all the work I’ve done today and was already dozing when Judge was putting the cream on my back.His hands on my body felt amazing and I wanted to feel his touch forever.That’s why I said yes when he asked if I wanted him.I wasn’t about to deny myself the experience of being with him again.And I know it’s nothing more than sex.I’m not confused about that part.What’s confusing me is the way he makes me feel.Each touch covers my skin in goosebumps while butterflies fill my stomach.I almost crave the slightest brush of his skin against mine when we’re in the same room.I’m also confused about why he watches me the way I feel.His eyes are constantly on me no matter where we are or what I’m doing.I’ve never felt as if another person was seeing into the depths of my soul the way Judge does.It feels as if he can see all the damaged and good parts of me no matter how hard I try to hide from everyone.
As I relive what just happened between Judge and myself, I feel my eyes start to slide closed.Then a thought crosses my mind and I’m wide awake once more.I’ve always been tossed aside by everyone in my life.There are literally three people who have ever been consistent at all—Tristan, Zach, and Mrs.Smythe.The boys have been searching for me over the last five years and Mrs.Smythe wants me to go visit her as soon as I can.All the foster homes I was in over the years could hardly keep me with them for a year before I was being moved.A man like Judge will never want me long-term.He’s surrounded by the men in this club, his brothers and Gramps, children, and his sisters-in-law.I’m just some girl he rescued in a bar and fucked twice now.Like he said, it doesn’t mean anything and all he can give me is sex.Even that won’t last long.He already can’t stand to be in the same room or bed with me the second he finds his release.
Finally, I can’t keep my eyes open a second longer as a pain so deep I can hardly breathe fills me.For the first time in my life, I don’t want to move on.I want to stay here with Judge and around my foster brothers.That’s nothing more than a recipe for disaster and I have to remember that.
***
Waking up, I stretchand feel the pull in my back and thigh.I’m still really sore but it seems to be manageable this morning.Getting out of bed, I test my weight on my leg and find I can stand steady without holding onto anything.That’s a first since I tried to save Razer.My leg has been weak and I’ve almost fallen more than a few times when I go to stand on it.Walking in the bathroom, I take care of business before getting in the shower.I slowly wash while the hot water relaxes my muscles despite the muscle spasms I already feel in my back.When I’m done washing and shaving, I get out and dry off with the towels Tristan brought me.I’ll have to do laundry today or tomorrow.Hopefully Tristan or Zach can show me where the washer and dryer are.I brush my teeth and hair before making my way back into the bedroom.Grabbing another pair of sweatpants from Zach and one of his tee-shirts, I get dressed and throw my hair up in a messy bun so it’s out of the way.It’s still early so I should be able to make breakfast for everyone before they start the day.
Grabbing my phone and the keys to lock the door I forgot to grab yesterday, I quietly make my way downstairs and into the kitchen.It’s not a complete disaster like it was yesterday, but it’s not clean either.I start a load of dishes in the dishwasher before wiping down the counters so I can prepare breakfast.Looking at everything, I see biscuits, eggs, ham, bacon, pancake mix, and cinnamon rolls.Grabbing everything, I turn on the oven to preheat while I grab the bacon and open three packages.Placing it all on cookie sheets, I put them in the oven when it reaches the proper temperature before washing my hands and getting started on the pancakes and eggs.There’s a griddle in one of the cupboards and I pull it out for the pancakes while grabbing a few frying pans for the eggs and ham.
It doesn’t take me long to cook all the food, make coffee, cut up fresh fruit, and pull down plates, mugs, cups, and silverware.Thankfully Tristan and Zach bought paper plates and plastic silverware so there’s enough for the large crowd in the clubhouse today.I can hear people moving around as I make a plate for myself before making four more.One for Fury, Demolition, Vulture, and Judge.I cover them with tin foil and place them in the oven to stay warm while making sure the warming trays are working properly.
“Mornin’ Wren,” Zach greets me, walking in the kitchen as I take a seat with my plate of food.“You got up and cooked all of this for us?”
“Yeah.I knew I wasn’t about to go back to sleep once I woke up.I’ve got the dishwasher running and will wash these dishes as soon as I’m done eating,” I tell him as he looks at me and leans down to press a kiss on the top of my head.
“You didn’t have to do this, Wren.Tristan and I are up to get started on cleanin’ everythin’ up and the Rebels are supposed to make breakfast.How are you feelin’ after yesterday?”he questions me as he starts to fill a plate of food for himself.
“I’m okay.Still sore, but I’ll be okay,” I answer him as I see more men start to enter the kitchen.“I’m gonna head up to my room.Can you send Tristan up when he’s done eating?I need to have the cream put on my back.”
“Yeah.He was already lookin’ for ya.You don’t have to leave, Wren.No one is gonna care if you’re in here or the common room,” Zach says as I get off the stool carefully and grab my plate and glass of juice.
“Mornin’, Wren,” Fury greets me as he enters the kitchen with his dad and uncle.
“If you guys take a seat, I’ll grab your food.I already made your plates.You’ll just have to grab your drink.I’ve got coffee brewed and there’s a few different kinds of juice,” I tell them as each man hugs me and I smile at them.
“You didn’t have to do that, Wren.You already cooked for us all yesterday and it was the best food ever.The Rebels are supposed to be doin’ this shit.Where are they?”Demolition asks, looking around the room.
“I haven’t seen anyone else until you guys started walking in here,” I answer, grabbing their plates from the oven as Judge enters the kitchen.I can feel his eyes on my back as I turn and make my way over to the table the four of them are now sitting at.
Each guy thanks me as I move to grab my food and leave the room.
“Don’t go hide, Wren,” Fury says, moving to sit next to me at the island where I left my plate.“Eat breakfast with me.”
I don’t want to make Fury upset, so I take a seat and eat my breakfast with him.We talk about nothing in particular as more people grab food and compliment me before thanking me for the meal this morning and the food yesterday.When I’m done eating, Tristan finds me and we go up to my room so I can get the cream put on my back.
“You doin’ okay, Wren?I know this is all a lot to take in if you’re not used to it.You’ve never really liked a crowd and only suffered through them to watch Zach and I play football,” he questions me as I lay down and expose my back for him.
“I’m okay.It’s a lot of people, but everyone has pretty much left me alone.No one talks to me other than a few of the guys here,” I tell him as he puts the medicine on my back carefully.“How bad is the bruising, Tris?”
“I’m not gonna lie, Wren.It’s fuckin’ bad.It’s almost black with a few spots of yellow and green.The cuts are almost completely healed.I can see a few of them here and there.The muscle spasms don’t feel as bad this mornin’ either.Are you in pain?”he answers me with a question of his own.
“Not really.I’m sore instead of being in pain.Like my body is stiff and I’ve worked out or something like that.And my leg is stronger today.I didn’t feel like I was about to collapse when I got out of bed.Thank you, Tristan,” I tell him as I feel his hands leave my back and close my eyes while I wait for it to dry.
“You don’t ever have to thank me, Wren.You’re my big sister and I’ll do what I can to help you.Get some rest.The kitchen and food will be taken care of by someone other than you.Stay up here for the day if you want.Zach and I can bring you meals and drinks,” he says before leaving me alone in the room.
Sleep once again claims me as I dream of building a life in Briar Glen with my son or daughter.It’s a nice dream even if I’m alone.I still have my foster brothers.
***
Waking up, I make myway downstairs after using the bathroom and washing my hands.The clubhouse is quiet as I enter the common room to find a few of the Rebels cleaning.None of them look at me as I move in the kitchen to find more girls there cleaning up and preparing lunch.Turning around, I remember Zach told me about a backdoor down the hallway that leads to the back of the clubhouse.There’s more picnic tables, lounge chairs, and a few trees around the yard.I want to go there today so I can soak up some sun and get some fresh air after my nap.
As I pass by a door that’s been left open the smallest bit, I hear Judge speaking.
“No, I don’t fuckin’ love her.Do I want to fuck Wren?Yeah.She’s a sexy woman.At the end of the day, she’s nothin’ more than a hole I can use to find my release,” Judge says right before I hear a chair scrape back against the floor and I quicken my steps so no one sees me.