Tangaloa let out a loud breath, making me glance up to see him staring at the ceiling. “What happened to your friend?”
I cocked my head to the side, also studying the ceiling, but I didn’t see what it was that was holding his attention. “I’m not sure. I was thinking of having Neo look for him, but then they might connect him to me, and I couldn’t…” My voice trailed off in shame.
He looked down at me. “Couldn’t risk me learning who you really were?”
My eyes lowered again as I nodded.
“We’ll ask Neo tomorrow to look for your friend. If he’s still in the area when we go back to New York to kill your parents and your tutors, we’ll stop by to see him.”
I blinked, so shocked at his words that my head shot back up. “Really? You would do that for me?”
“At some point, you’ll finally understand that I would do anything for you,” Tangaloa said, his gaze intense. “But which part are you referring to? Killing your parents, killing your tutors, finding your friend, or taking you with me?”
My cheeks heated as I shrugged. “All four, I guess?” He continued to stare at me, a look I knew well. I straightened my shoulders and said more determined, “All four.”
“Maisy, in the barely fifteen minutes since we’ve been talking, I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve wished we were already on a plane to New York so I could end their lives faster. Now that I know your tutors were in on this fucked-up plan, their names will also be added to my list once I know them. And let me be very frank: I don’t ever plan to spend another day apart from you. Wehave all night, and I don’t give a damn how long it takes: you and I are going to puteverythingon the table.Both of us. Because I already lost one woman I love because of the secrets I kept from her, and I won’t lose you too.”
Heat washed over me. I knew he’d been married, which I couldn’t fault him for because technically so had I, but I still didn’t like the reminder that he’d been in love with another woman. Did he think of me as his second chance?
Tangaloa pointed a finger at me. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, stop. You have absolutely no reason to doubt yourself or your hold over me. I’ve done enough of that for the both of us the past four weeks. Which is another reason you and I are going to put everything on the table. And before you start questioningthat, I was already planning on doing this with you. I just didn’t expect you to also have such a heavy confession.” He dropped his finger to my plate. “Eat,” he ordered without malice. I picked up another salmon slice. “Was that when your parents sold you to him? That night?”
I chewed and swallowed, but kept my eyes on him as I answered. “I didn’t know it at the time, but yes. I did not see my parents again for almost six years, but my tutors came with me.”
“Fuckers,” Tangaloa murmured. “Tell me you remember their names.”
I nodded, knowing that acknowledgement was sentencing them to death.
“Good. Continue,” he said with a wave of his hand.
I didn’t know why, but the blasé way he spoke of killing six people made me want to smile. Yeah, definitely messed up in the head.
I took a drink of water before I said, “That Bastard took over my education, for lack of a better word. He changed certain values. I was no longer learning how to be an American housewife, but aJapanese one. I learned the language and the culture. He wasn’t…” I made a face, not sure how to express this part. “He wasn’t a bad man.” At Tangaloa’s appalled expression, I hastily added, “Yes, I know he was a bad man. I meant…” My nose twitched as I tried to find the right words. “When I was young, he was a very hard man, strict, and he liked many twisted and depraved things, but he was…sweet too.” Even saying the word left a bitter taste in my mouth. “Let me be clear, I hated him. I hated him so much that, if I knew how, I would have poisoned his food numerous times over the years. I hated what he did to me, to the other women, to Samantha. But when he was sweet… When he dropped the…persona,” I didn’t know how else to describe it, “he was a nice man.”
Tangaloa watched me carefully. “There’s a fine line between love and hate. Did you love him?”
I shook my head emphatically. “No! God, no. But,” I amended, “there were times when I hated himless.”
His expression seemed worried about this. “Like when?”
“Like when he’d let me watch TV or speak in English or outside to see the full moon.” My cheeks flamed with my embarrassment. “I know, it seems ridiculous. Dr. Akamu says he was conditioning me to associate those things with appreciation and gratitude, and it’s a testament to my strong willpower that I was able to compartmentalize. But I don’t think I was strong willed,” I confided in Tangaloa. “I wouldn’t have been so compliant if I had been.”
“The instinct to survive is a powerful one,” Tangaloa told me gently. “You did what you had to do to walk out of there with your daughter.”
I hated the reminder of Nishi and the horror she endured for her bravery. She’d been strong enough to try to escape, even under the threat of the whip. I had never been that strong.
“Maisy, I’m so sorry, but I have to know, even though I knowthe answer is going to kill me. How old were you the first time he raped you?”
My skin chilled at the memory. “Fifteen.”
Tangaloa stilled. He hadn’t eaten in a bit, even though he kept instructing me to. I felt the bed start to vibrate under me and realized that he was sitting with his muscles tight as he shook. “Fifteen?” he repeated the question through gritted teeth.
I closed my eyes, not able to look at him for this part. But he had a right to know, and as Dr. Akamu said, secrets lose their powers when they’re revealed. “I did not know it was rape. I only knew what I was taught, and that was how to be a good wife. When I turned fifteen, we had a wedding. Dr. Akamu helped me look up the laws, though, and I don’t think we were legally married. But I didn’t know that then. I knew that my parents had finally come to visit me, to bear witness to our union. And on that day, I did my wifely duties by allowing my husband access to my body.”
I pushed my plate away from me on the bed, the smell of the salmon suddenly making me nauseous at my confession. The bed shifted, but I did not open my eyes until there was a loudbang. Tangaloa stood next to the wall with his hand raised and his head bowed over his chest. I swear he said something about cannibals being too good for them, but I must have misheard, because that did not make any sense.
“Are you okay?”
“No, I am not fuckingokay.” He straightened, which was when I saw his fist was completely embedded into the wall.