“My past.” Her lips barely missed brushing against mine. “You said it didn’t matter, right?”
I had said that. I couldn’t remember when or in what context with her so close to me, but I did recall saying it. “It doesn’t,” I replied. What spell had she cast for her to have such a hold over me?
“As yours doesn’t matter to me.” Her delicate hands moved up my tattooed arms, coming to rest on my biceps. “I see Holly and Lu with their men. I see how they are treated, cherished. I see how you are with me, like I’m something precious. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Tangaloa, but this won’t be one of them. I need to know…”
“Know what?” I pressed when she paused.
“If it makes a difference… Being with the man you love.”
I’d never counted the number of women I’d been with in my life, because I never cared to count. Most of them were as nameless and faceless as I was to them. But there’d been a few, and one that stood out higher than the rest, that I had developed feelings for.Even then, I felt in control. I was always in charge, dominant inside and outside of the bedroom.
My lack of control around Caroline was telling, but for good or bad, I had no idea. My thoughts were so fuzzy around her, slow to connect. But the moment those words crossed her lips, the single flame inside me I’d been trying to keep barely lit blazed forth into an inferno. I no longer gave a fuck. Not about her age, not about mine. Not about where we were or who could see us. Not about those who were waiting for us or what the world would think.
There was no world. There was just her and me, and I was done with control.
My arms looped around her lean waist at the same time that my lips crashed down on hers.Mine. She tasted like mint, smelled like orange blossoms, and felt so incredibly divine in my arms that I forgot the feel of any other I’d ever held.
Her breath caught, and though her intensity matched mine, the hesitation in her movements spoke of inexperience. I did not question if I was the first man she’d ever kissed, because I knew in my soul that I would be her last. Heat and promise pulled us together, and I let her explore for several moments before I took the lead.
I shifted her arms from my biceps to around my neck as I repositioned myself on my knees and lifted her up over my thighs. Her long skirt flowed around me like a sarong, shielding where our bodies connected from any possible spectators.
Her arms tightened around me, her small breasts only separated from my wet, sandy chest by the thin cotton of her tank top. A soft moan rose up from her throat.
There was a part of me, an albeitgrowingpart, that wanted to be buried inside her as soon as possible. To rip her clothing from her body, lay her out on the soft sand, and lay claim to her in the most primal of ways.
She may have zapped all logical thoughts from my mind, but at least I was left with the knowledge that sex on the beachsucked. The amount of sand that got into unwanted places ruined the impromptu passion of any moment.
Additionally, I wanted to take my time with her. I wanted to learn every facet of her body, discover the hidden treasures within. I wasn’t turned into a complete moron by her feminine wiles. I still was very aware of her trauma, but I also knew what she was asking. The fact that she’d even uttered the words “man I love” still shook me to my core, and it cracked open a part of me I’d been keeping buried these past eight weeks.
I was in love with Caroline.
I was so deeply entranced by her. Call it whipped, call it shackled. I didn’t give a fuck. I was hers to command, to control. She had only to snap her fingers, and I would fall to my knees before her. I wasn’t the richest man in the world, but I did very well for myself, illegal gains or no. I would give it all to her, spend every last penny to ensure her happiness, her safety.
I kept a secure hold on her, both on her body and her lips, as I got to my feet. Even with her recent weight gain, she weighed practically nothing. Then again, she could gain a hundred pounds, and she still would be small compared to me.
I coaxed her mouth open gently, showing her the joys of making our tongues dance against each other. The gasp she emitted was one of surprise, but also joy. Her legs were not long enough to wrap around my waist, her bare heels digging for purchase in my back as I walked us up the beach.
I’d practically grown up in these waters, crested my first waves alongside Kayl and Aloiki on these shores. I didn’t need to look to know where I was going, but I was also carrying precious cargo.
At the bottom of the cliff, before the path that led up to the house, was a boulder, eroded flat by water, sand, andstorm over millennia. I pressed her back against it, shielding her head with the palm of my hand. Our kiss never faltered.
I practically preened like a damn peacock when her hands started to wander. Like her kiss, her movements were tentative at first, cautious. Her touch, while light, felt like a balm to my soul. She stuck mainly to my neck, my shoulders, and my upper back, and I silently prayed she would continue her exploration further south.
I never wanted her scared to touch me, all of me. I wanted her hands, tongue, and eyes to know me as well as mine would know her. I did not want there to be an inch of skin on my body that she hadn’t laid claim to.
Some suppressed part of me heard the rumble of motorcycles in the distance, but I paid no heed. There was absolutely nothing in this world that mattered more than the woman in my arms.
I’d loved before, and been loved before, but not like this. This was soul shattering, and she was the glue that would put me back together.
Our tongues dueled as I hefted her up the path. We stopped several times along the dirt berm, and each time, her hands grew more and more in confidence. By the time we reached the backdoor, her fingers played with the back hem of my shorts.
I’d always been in such a rush in the past. The fast, rough fuck seeming like the ultimate pleasure. And while there was no denying my intense, growing need to be inside her, there was also something precious about the slow exploration. Like more than our bodies were connecting.
Maybe it was sappy, but I didn’t care. Whatever this was, I wanted it.
I carried her up the backstairs that avoided the open living room, dining room, and kitchen on the first floor. I made our way down the hall, passing my brothers’ rooms as well as ours, to makeit to the communal bathroom. As soon as the door was closed, I pressed her back against it.
Slowly, I unbound her legs from my hips and lowered her feet to the floor. I practically had to bend in two with our lips still connected. I loathed breaking away from her, but I was covered in sand and seawater.