After giving Kahoku a flippant two-fingered wave, Aloiki pushed him off the side of the boat.
It wasearly hours in the morning, but I needed to see them. I was surprised the deadbolt wasn’t locked. Was it wrong of me that I hoped Caroline had left it open for this exact reason?
Things had happened so fast after I got Kayl’s phone call earlier. I barely had a chance to say goodbye to either of them. Samantha’s swim lesson was cancelled for obvious reasons. Both were getting better, but there was no way I was allowing either of them into the pool without me present.
We quickly determined who was going and who was staying. We knew Kahoku would have guards. Aloiki and others had served that position over the years, so we knew the routine. Tommy, Spirit, and the twins were our go-to fighting team, in addition to Aloiki and myself. Hops and Mako would be our backup, on the island but monitoring rather than fighting. While we had not anticipated a trap, it never hurt to be overprepared.
Bacon remained behind with Holly, Lu, Caroline, and Samantha. Additionally, Saga and Tick were ordered to patrol the grounds, and ensure that no attacks were coming at our home while our heavy hitters were absent.
Neo stayed behind as well, though they would be little help if it came to a fight. At four-eleven, they were better at sneaking into places than battling head on.
In the middle of Church, Lucifer was called away on businessinvolving the community center. Normally, club business took precedence, and there were very few exceptions to that rule. A report of an abused woman and her children needing help to escape her psychotic boyfriend was one of them. While Lucifer claimed he could handle the matter himself, Aloiki still sent four of our five prospects, Mouse, Doodles, Beetle, and Khal Drogo, or KD, with him just in case. I liked that the former priest didn’t mind getting his hands dirty when it came to protecting the innocent.
Our fifth Prospect, Barnacle, was Mako’s cousin, and he was on Aloiki’s shit list after the Prospect rounded a corner and nearly bumped into Lu. Which was why he’d been assigned to stay on the boat with the redhead Kayl had caught and then had to lift all the weights onto the boat once the fighting was done.
The last time I had come in late like this, Caroline had been waiting up for me. While the lamp by the couch was still on, she was not on the couch. I shouldn’t have been disappointed at that.
Light on my feet, I crept over to the bed. I’d already washed the blood and grime off me at the shower in the barn. Most of the others chose to crash there, too exhausted to make the trek back up to the house, but I had incentive to make the journey. Mako, our Cleaner, and Barnacle were left behind to clean up Tommy’s boat.
Samantha was burrowed under the covers as usual, a little lump in a giant bed. Her mother wasn’t that much bigger. In the low light cast by the lamp, I stared down at Caroline. Maybe it was my exhaustion, maybe because she had no idea I was looking at her, maybe I was just so sick ofnotlooking that I couldn’t turn my eyes away… Whatever the reason, I stood at the side of the bed, and juststared.
When Kalea had been pregnant, I had thought about things to do with my daughter. Both of us wanted to know the gender, so we’d found out as soon as we could. I’d decorated her room pinkwith all the stereotypical girly things like rainbows, unicorns, princess crowns, and ballet slippers. I filled a bookcase with all sorts of books, and even got her a boogieboard. She wasn’t born yet and I was already imagining taking her into the waves.
Pualani was two and a half now. When I’d seen her a couple of months ago, I’d had a hard time reconciling the infant daughter I’d held with the toddler stranger she was now. I had been herfather, and I felt nothing for that little girl. Well, notnothing. I wasn’t a total monster. But she hadn’t felt like mine.
I hadn’t seen Kalea since the day I walked out of the NICU ward at the hospital. Aloiki had been very careful to arrange her visits to the farm when I wasn’t there, or to go to her house. The houseIhad bought for her when she’d only been nineteen. I didn’t know what I would feel if I ever did see her again.
Shouldn’t I have feltsomethingfor Pualani? Some residual paternal instinct? When I’d learned she’d been in the house with Aloiki and Lu when the Bloody Scorpions had been attacked, I was outraged. It took me some time to realize that I was pissed Kalea had virtually abandoned her for a week without notice on Aloiki’s doorstep. Yes, I was absolutely pissed that a child had been in danger. But that rage hadn’t been because she wasmy child.
What sort of person did it make me that I could look at her and feel nothing?
I lifted the covers a tiny bit, and something settled deep in my soul when I saw Samantha’s little nose poke free. I cracked a smile.Shefelt like mine.
They both did.
I wanted to talk to Caroline about adopting her, but I was nervous. Things were so good between Caroline and me right now. What if she thought I was trying to take Samantha away from her? How did I make her understand that I wanted to make Samanthaours? And when Caroline was older, if she was ready, maybe the three of us could officiallybe a family.
That was my ultimate fantasy. A family.
I folded the covers back over the little bundle in the bed. I should leave. I got to see them; I made sure they were both okay. I shouldn’t continue standing here.
“Stay.”
I tried to convince myself that I imagined it, but I hadn’t. I’d been staring right at her. She hadn’t opened her eyes, yet she’d spoken to me. I wasn’t so wrapped up in my head that I didn’t know reality from fantasy.
“I shouldn’t,” I murmured just as low.
Caroline’s eyes blinked open. How long had she been awake for? How long had she known I’d been standing over this bed? Yet, she hadn’t panicked, hadn’t yelled at me to get out. She looked right at me and uttered that single word again. “Stay.”
I glanced down. I couldn’t get in on this side without disturbing Samantha. I turned my head toward the couch. It was certainly the safer option.
“No, here.”
She shifted carefully, turning to face the empty side of the bed without waking Samantha up. I barely remember my feet walking me around the end of the bed to the other side. I stared down at her, the pull to obey stronger than the tide.
“I shouldn’t,” I repeated.
“Please.”