I was trying to keep it together, but everything was too bright. I had to get inside so I didn’t vomit in the hall. I managed to unlock the door before I stumbled into my room while refusing to let the pain of Dom’s words take me over. It bit too deep for me to brush it off. I firmly locked the door behind me, making sure I was completely alone.
We weren’t friends, barely even acquaintances. All I'd done was listen to him having sex and lusted over him occasionally. I assumed there was a spark of interest because of how Dom looked at me the rare times we actually spoke to each other, but it shouldn’t be a surprise that he treated everyone that way.
Thank God no one saw me sneaking out of his room. Though I didn’t know anyone in this block of flats. It was the main reason I rented a room here. I didn’t want to have to deal with potential gossip.
I could imagine Mum’s joy if she found out her son wasn’t entirely straight. She’d already done the same thing with my youngest sister, Jazz, who had made the mistake of coming out at fourteen and became Mum’s ongoing fashion accessory.
I dragged myself to my bathroom, pushing through a cupboard for painkillers. I obviously needed to do everything humanly possible to avoid Dom. It was the only way to deal with this incident.
I dragged off my clothes that stunk of whatever happened last night.
My bathroom had a mirror that spanned the entire wall above the sink, from the door to the shower. It was only a metre, but I had the pleasure of a clear view of what a mess I was, and why it was stupid to think Dom might consider me an option.
There were no bruises on my body to suggest he'd done anything, but that wasn't proof, especially when my birthmark was red and felt as tender as my cock.
I closed my eyes, wincing as my heart pulsed. As I focused on tossing back the tablets, I heard faint voices in my head, as if they were a distant dream. Someone invited me out for drinks after class, something to do with a family emergency. Maybe they left me alone? Maybe I was with other people.
I shook my head, like it would clear the fog and help me remember.
After the painkillers, I took two shots of mouthwash, two rounds of brushing my teeth, and a thorough floss, refusing to look at myself. Cleaning my mouth somewhat helped, though it did nothing for the rest of my hangover.
Every other second, I was hit with another wave of shame at the look on Dom’s face. It wasn’t even an awkward ‘oops, no, sorry, you have the wrong idea’. It was literal disgust. He practically grimaced at the idea.
It was 8:30am, so I had half an hour until my morning lecture. It was the first time since I’d started university that I’d thought about skipping class. Searching for my keys and wallet anywhere but Dom's flat would be a good excuse.
As I turned on the shower, another fuzzy memory surfaced, and I reached for it as streams of water ran over me.
There were pre-drinks with some other students; I was sure of that. So why did we go to a club? I didn’t tend to go out, mostly because of who I was. How did I get there? And who were the two men whose twisted smiles were becoming more vivid in my mind?
Something about a taxi. A few of us, and then they left me alone with those two men. And then… darkness. There was a void in my memory, like a black hole separating the time between the club and waking up in Dom’s room, filled with booming music that still rang in my ears.
I pressed a hand to my mouth again, squeezing my eyes closed as I groaned at the mix of hurt and embarrassment. Dom was right. From the horrible feeling that came every time I pictured those two men, I'm sure I had to be rescued, but did he have to take me back to his flat? Why didn't I tell him about the emergency key?
Dom’s face swam into my mind again, and I winced. I kept my lips tight as I finished my shower, refusing to even think about crying. I was an adult; I shouldn’t be so upset over a misunderstanding. The more I thought about it, the more it stabbed at a wound deep inside me, one which confirmed I wasn’t worth Dom’s attention.
Harry
Ibit my lip as I looked around the street from the front door of our block of flats.
Dom had been waiting for me every morning for the past month. Whether it was on the landing right outside our front doors, at the bottom of the stairs, or on the pavement, hovering with two coffees in hand, he always found me. I had been leaving so early in the morning that the bakery at the bottom of the street was dark, but he caught up to me wherever I was. So I gave up and went back to my normal routine.
I threw a glance both ways. People filed along the pavements, cars chugged in the narrow street, dodging the thick stream of parked cars and bikes swerving between them. Red-bricked buildings were muted by the sea of grey suits and vehicles, with voices echoing from all angles—and no Dom.
A twinge of disappointment struck me as I stepped out and joined the rush. I shouldn't be looking for him. I was trying to avoid him, not encourage him.
It was a slow bus ride and a short walk to Pembroke College in the Cambridge University area. By the time I walked onto the college grounds, I had forgotten about Dom. They werehanding out group assignments today, and I couldn’t afford to miss it.
I was passing by the trimmed hedges which bordered the main courtyard of the college when he suddenly emerged.
“Harry!” Dom called out to me, and I jumped back in alarm, cursing as I nearly dropped my rucksack. I knocked into someone behind me and earned a scowl.
Dom seemed so bloody pleased with himself as he walked towards me. It didn’t matter what time of day it was; he always looked like he'd walked out of a magazine. Today it was just a black t-shirt and jeans, but his hard biceps and wide chest were earning looks from passersby. Plus, he gave me a bright smile that was already stealing hearts. Another reason I didn’t want to be seen with him.
“I thought you'd finally left me alone,” I sighed as I calmed down, glaring at him while I fixed my bag. It always took a minute to adjust to his presence whenever he appeared.
His smile made my stomach roll with nerves as it spread across his face. “Not a chance, handsome. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
I pursed my lips, holding back any reaction that might tell him I enjoyed the attention. I wouldn’t let him know I was actually happy to see him.