There’s a long pause. And the only sound thatcan be heard in the room is the rushing of my blood through my hotveins.
“What now?” I ask unsure.
“Do you still want to finish law school?”
“Yes,” I reply automatically. “You’re notdisowning me?”
“Not unless you want me to.”
“No,” I answer without hesitation. “But whynot exactly?”
This is so uncharacteristic of my father Ithink I might be in shock,maybe denial, definitelydisbelief.
My father sighs, “Alana, sometimes it takesone instant to change an entire life’s perspective.”
“Oh?”
“You walking out that door was mine. So no,I’m not disowning you. I would however, like to ground you,” hesays dryly.
I smirk amazed. When did my father become acomedian?
“You said Ryan’s brother died. I’m under theimpression he doesn’t know?”
“I haven’t told him yet.” I wring my handstogether.
“Then maybe you two should talk,” my fatherstands up, “You can use my chambers. I’ll utilize Judge Reynoldsuntil you’re finished.”
“Thank you.”
He walks towards me and my heartbeataccelerates; this huge, strapping man with salt and pepper hair anda face chiseled out of stone. There’s no physical exchange as hestands in front of me, no touch or hug or kiss; just a small,barely discernible smile. And although that may not mean much toanyone else, to me, it feels like the crevasse in the earth thatseparates us just became a little narrower.
I watch my father walk out of the room andRyan walk in. The two most important men in my world, the one I’veloved my whole life, and the one I’m going to love for the rest ofmy life.
There’s no wavering on Ryan’s part, hedoesn’t stop striding until our bodies are pressed together and ourarms are wrapped around each other. His touch feels so good, likethe first few raindrops in a yearlong drought.
Ryan kisses me over and over again, on myforehead and cheeks and lips. “I love you, I love you so much,baby,” he repeats, almost reverently.
“I love you too,” I respond, trying to figureout a way to break the worst news imaginable to him.“Ryan-”I start, but he suddenly drops onto one knee, sliding his handsdown my body.
Oh shit.
“Alana, I know I don’t have a ring, and thisprobably isn’t the most ideal place.”
“Ryan-“
“But I love you, undyingly and-”
“Ryan please stop,” I grab his hands tightly,silencing him; his expression becoming crestfallen. “Ryan-” I panicseeing the dejection on his face. I drop down in front of him, hisbeautiful blue eyes large, confused and close to heartbroken.“There’s something I need to tell you,” my voice is shaky and soare my hands.
“Alana?”
I look down, trying to string the right wordstogether, “They found Sean.” I look up at him gravely.
“Found him?” And now Ryan is trembling.
“He was already gone,” I say in a tiny voice,“there was nothing they could do.” My vision gets blurry as thetears well in my eyes uncontrollably.
“No,” Ryan shakes his head vehemently,rejecting what I’m trying to tell him.