“Get him out of here!” Ryan shouts and itdoesn’t even sound like him. His voice is hoarse and hostile, and Iwonder if I‘m getting a glimpse of a past Ryan, one who had tofight for his life for three long years.
He rips his arms free from the two dancersholding him back, as Sean is dragged out of the room. Everyone isstaring at Ryan with wide eyes and gaping mouths. Ryan snatches myhand and hauls me outside, pulling me down the dark hallway untilwe reach two steps that lead toanothercamouflaged door.Geez, there are secret entrances all over this building. He tows meinside then slams the door behind him; squeezing the shit out of myhand the whole time.
“Ryan,” I say unevenly as he bangs the backof his head against the door. “Ryan, please calm down.” I put myhands on his shoulders, but he just stands there with his fistsclenched and his body wound tight.
“I can’t,” he says through gritted teeth. “Hejust makes me so fucking angry!”
“I know, but he’s gone and I’m here.” I griphis shoulders. It’s scaring me to see him like this, but I know theonly way to calm him down is to be cool and collected myself.
“Alana, just talk to me,” he says with hiseyes squeezed shut. “I just need to hear the sound of your voiceright now.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want,” I saysoothingly, and then rack my brain for something to say. I blurtout the first thing that comes to mind: “I want that bed.”
Ryan opens his eyes surprised, “Whatbed?”
“The bed in the B and B. I love it.”
Ryan gapes at me, “What?”
“Yes, I love it, and I want one.”
“Okay,” he says blankly, and I think mydistraction is helping to subdue his anger.I think.I wipesome of the blood away from his eye then slip my arms around hisneck and hug him tightly, “Are you okay?”
“No,” he heaves a heavy sigh, then slides hishands around my waist. “Shit.” He drops his head into the crook ofmy neck, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For losing it. I never wanted you to seethat side of me,” his voice sounds a little calmer now.
“The badass side? Why not?”
“For the same reason I didn’t want youknowing I was in jail.”
“You’re ashamed of it?”
He looks up at me and nods, his silence isoppressive.
“Ryan, it’s okay,” I reassure himsweetly.
“It’s not okay,” he snaps and his stare issuddenly juiced with electricity.
“Why isn’t it okay? You got angry. Ithappens,” I gaze up at him, but he refuses to look me in theeye.
“Ryan?”
He keeps his head turned and breathesheavily, and I get the feeling there’s more bothering him than justhis anger management issues. “You don’t believe what Sean said, doyou?”
He frowns, “Sometimes I wonder.”
“Ryan,” I grab his face and force him to lookat me. “You are good enough. Don’t let Sean get in your head.”
“I’m a stripper, Alana.”
“That’s not who you are and we both know it,”I argue sternly. “Nothing’s changed, not the way I see you and notthe way I feel about you. And Sean deserved that punch in the face,he’s been playing mind games with me all night.”
“What?Why didn’t you saysomething?”
“Because I’m a big girl and I can take careof myself. Besides, you have enough shit to deal with when it comesto him. You don’t need to add me to the rotation.”