My father grimaces. “Telling me about yourboyfriend and introducing him to me are two entirely differentthings,” he says; always the lawyer.
“Maybe so, but I wasn’t ready for either.” Istand firm.
His brown gaze bores into me. I wish I knewwhat he was thinking, but reading him is like trying to interprethieroglyphics. I just sit there as the moments tick by, myheartbeat slow and labored. Like I’m steadily dying.
“Fine then.” He relents and I nearly passout. “I can respect the fact you want to put school first and notget distracted. That’s a very mature attitude.” He looks down and Idon’t understand his reaction. It’s impassive like usual, but it’salmost like there’s something more. Something that he’s trying tohide. It’s unnerving. It’s not like him at all. And it actuallyfrightens me. I glance at my uncle but he just shrugs.
I want to ask if he’s all right, but even ifhe isn’t I don’t think he’d admit it. Especially not to me.
Lesson learned from today’s meal? A secretisn’t a secret unless you keep it to yourself.
“You deserve a freakin’ Academy Award.” Emilyleans on the counter next to where I’m drying the china andswigging merlot right out of the bottle.
“That was to close.” I place a dried dishunsteadily on the stack. The Bone china has been in my family forthree generations. It’s a creamy white with a textured surface anda platinum ring running all around the rim.
“I know, but you didn’t bat an eyelash oreven break a sweat when he started asking about Ryan.”
I laugh manically. “When you’re the daughterof a judge and the niece of an esteemed lawyer you learn a fewthings about composure.”
“Yeah, well, if you handle yourself in acourtroom the way you handled yourself in the dining room I see abright future for you.”
“Let’s hope so.” I take another gulp ofwine.
“Alana?” Emily looks down and it seems likeshe has something important on her mind. “Let’s just say for shitsand giggles you did introduce Ryan to your father, it’s not likeyou have to tell him what he does. You can say he’s a graphicartist. It wouldn’t be lying.”
I stop drying the dishes and huff. “Emily,Ryan’s occupation is the least of my problems with my father. Heconvicted him. He’ll never see past that.”
“It’s been almost six years, do you reallythink he’ll remember?”
“Maybe not at first, but eventually, yes. Andthen the shit will hit the fan.”
Emily gives me a sympathetic look. Shedoesn’t like it anymore than me that I have to hide Ryan like he’ssomeone to be ashamed of. But it isn’t that at all. “Em, look.Putting all my wants and needs aside, I can’t subject Ryan to myfather’s ridicule. You have no idea what the last few years havebeen like for him. He has so much more healing to do and we’ve onlybeen back together less than a year. We need to work on us firstbefore we go adding our families into the sticky mix.”
It makes me want to rip my heart out everytime I think of my loving, affectionate, free-spirited Ryan and allthe deep, dark, demons he still has inside. There’s no way I’mgoing to let my father’s elitist attitude provoke the alreadyfragile side of him.
“Hey.” Alex interrupts us.
“Hey.” Emily and I turn around.
“I’m so sorry about before. I don’t know whatI was thinking.”
“It’s okay Alex.” I cross my arms and lean onthe counter. I think the wine is going to my head. FINALLY!“Maybe it’s for the best. Now Ryan doesn’t have to be somemonumental secret, only a really huge one.”
I glance at my watch 7:02 PM. My train leavesin forty-five minutes. “Can you give me a ride to the trainstation?” I ask. “It’s getting late and I really want to get home.”I throw the dishtowel onto the counter feeling more than a littlebit tipsy.
“Absolutely,” Alex answers, and I can tell hestill feels bad.
As I’m grabbing my coat from the foyer closetI can smell brandy and cigar smoke coming from my uncle’s study. Ipeer in and see my father and uncle each sitting in an oversizedred leather chair by the fireplace.
“Merrick that’s your third Courvoisier. Isthere something on your mind?” my uncle says in his typical jovialtone. Even though they fight like cats and dogs and rarely see eyeto eye, they have a special relationship. One I will neverunderstand. Probably because I have no siblings of my own.
My father exhales a puff of sweet smellingsmoke and then says, “She just grew up to damn fast.”
What?I blanch. I don’t know what tomake of that statement and before I can analyze it any further Ihear Emily calling my name. I walk into the study to say goodbyewith Alex and Emily on my heels. I give my uncle a huge hug andkiss goodbye then turn to my father. He’s just standing thereregarding me with no outward sign of emotion.
“Goodbye daddy.” I try to sound livelyinstead of drunk.
“Alana.” He responds with a nod of his head,his brown eyes heedful. I don’t know what to make of his energytonight. It’s different somehow. But I don’t have time to dwellbecause Emily is pushing me out the door. I turn with one lastglance at my father and wonder why I have to have such complicatedrelationships with all the men in my life. I climb into Alex’sBentley and slide across leather that feels like whipped cream. DidI say he was filthy stinkin’ rich? I meant disgustingly rich. Hemakes my family look like beggars on the street.