“You really want to know?”
I consider for a beat and then nod my headyes.
Ryan’s eyes become intense, like two bluestorms of sexuality. My whole body locks up. Holy shit.
He takes my hand and leads me towards thehanging beads, my pulse accelerating. On second thought, maybe Idon’t want to see the wizard.
We slip through the heavy room divider andinto a hallway of more dangling beads. Except these are densecrystals in all different shapes and sizes, with bright orange andpurple lights shining behind them. And if you look hard enough youcan see silhouettes; bodies of men and women doing scandalousthings in provocative ways.
One term comes to mind as I follow Ryan downthe hallway.Champagne Room.
We stop in front of some hanging crystals.They clink as Ryan pushes them aside, “after you.” I walk under anorange spotlight, into a small space with a white leather couchdeep enough to lie on and walls a warm golden yellow.
Ryan steps in behind me and presses his bodyflush against mine. My mind races.
Is he really going to do this?
Am I really going to let him?
Can I even handle this? Five minutes ago hewas with another woman. Quite possibly in this same room doing Godonly knows what.
“Why do you do this Ryan?” I expel. I know heexplained it in words, but I need to experience it to trulyunderstand.
He ambles around me so close; the only thingseparating us is a whisper of air.
“I told you, the money,” he says as heunbuttons his shirt.
“You said women too,” I watch him cautiously,my gaze jumping between his eyes and his chest.
“That was before you walked back into mylife. You’re the only woman I want to touch now. The others, likeyou saw before, it’s just an act. A business transaction. It’s whatI have to do to get what I want.”
“Doesn’t it make them feel used?” I flick myeyes up at him.
“It mustn’t. They always come back.”
“You like it. I saw your face. That wasn’t anact.”
Ryan stands right in front of me, his shirtunbuttoned and dangling open. “I won’t lie to you Alana, I’ll neverlie to you,” his tone is hard, but seductive. “I do like theattention. But it’s not real. It’s my job to sell attractivenessand fantasy, and I do it well. But that’s all it is, fantasy and Iknow it. When I’m with you, that’s my real.”
My breath catches when he says the word real.I can’t help but find the irony in his words; I’m exactly to himwhat he is to me. Two people one and the same, both living a doublelife to get what they want; a future and each other.
And that is what I want. A future, withRyan.
I go to put my hands on his chest, but hesteps away shaking his head no. “In this room, it’s all about you,”he walks around, stopping right behind me. “You have to tell mewhat you want Alana,” he whispers in my ear and I almost go limp,the sound of his voice is erotic as hell.
I swallow hard, but can’t utter a word,because truth be told, I have no freakin’ idea what I want. Atleast, not in this scenario.
Ryan starts to rub my shoulders. I think hecan feel my hesitation.
“Why are you so tense? This is supposed to befun.”
Fun? The word rattles around in my head. Fun- a time or feeling of enjoyment or amusement.
Okay, let’s have some fun.
I turn around to face him and our eyes lock.“Show me.”
“Show you what?” his tone dripping withsensuality.