“Sorry. I forgot you don’t like death humor. Lighten up, buttercup.”
“I can’t joke about you dying, Mom.”
Lydia James is sunshine in every space she occupies. Everyone turns toward her warmth like they’re addicts and her orbit is their best fix. She’s never taken life too seriously. Always finds a way to laugh in the hard times because a smile pushes the dark things back into the shadows. I’ve tried to do the same. Except, when the only family you have gets diagnosed with cancer days after your twentieth birthday, life takes a morbid turn.
She managed to kick cancer’s ass into remission three times already, but each battle took its toll. On both of us. This time though, despite my pleas to the contrary, Mom’s decided not to fight.
“I know, sweetheart. Look.” She releases a weighty breath over the line. “I’m not asking you to marry the guy.” I snicker. “Did you hear that, Hannah? The official transcript shall read:I’m not asking you to marry this man.”
“Oh my god, shut up!” The running joke that I almost hitched my wagon to the biggest jerk on the planet because I thought her dying wish was to see me get married sounds more ridiculous every time she brings it up. But at least this is something wecanlaugh about.
My intentions may have been good back then, but at twenty-three, I was too young and too foolish to know better.
I’m five years older and wiser now with a career that consumes most of my time and energy outside of spending time with Mom. Exactly how I like it. Exactly how I’vedesignedit.
Mom’s laughter wanes. “Maybe you could let go of some of your rules for this one.”
“The rules are there for a reason.”
“And they’re good reasons. I’m just saying it’s okay to let yourself have some fun, Haddy.” I grin at the silly nickname given to me by my childhood best friend. Grief still lingers at the edges when I remember her, but it’s not all doom and gloom anymore.
“I have fun!” I scoff. Perhaps not the level-ten fun myI’m dying tomorrow let’s make tonight countmother is known for, but I know how to have a good time.
“When, Hannah? When was the last time you had fun? Like,realfun.”
Five years ago.
Twelve hours spent with a handsome soldier with cobalt eyes and a dimple-popping smile that made me weak in the knees. A man I haven’t seen or spoken to since but whose name I’ll never forget.Rowan.
I don’t mention him, though. Instead, I pull the most pathetic answer out of my ass because it’s all I’ve got. “Hey, what about my chess dates with the guys?”
Mom howls. “The geriatrics at the VFW? Yeah, you’re really living it up in your twenties.”
“You’re just mad because you could never match me in chess,” I tease. “I finally found people who could play up to my level.”
To be fair, my VFW visits are less about the chess and more about the company. But it’s more fun to tease Mom about her subpar chess skills than to explain why I enjoy my time at the VFW so much.
“Whenisyour next meet up with the Golden Boys?”
“Next weekend, I think. Why? You wanna come?”
She sighs, long and wistful. “Ithasbeen a while since I crashed theDependsdepot.”
Now we’re both laughing. “Mom! Stop, they’re not invalids.”
“I know, I know. They’re adorable and endearing and I love them. You know that.” She pauses, catching her breath. “I still think it’s so random that you ever got connected with those guys.”
I swallow down the truth, thankful for the buzz of my desk phone intercom to interrupt the direction of this conversation.
“Ms. James?” my assistant, Olive, says over the speaker.
“Hang on, Mom.” I hug my cell to my chest. “Yes, Olive?”
“The CEO of SellTech is on the line. He says it’s urgent.”
“Okay, thank you. I’ll take it.”
I lift my phone back to my ear. “Mom, I gotta go. I have a client on the line.”