“Give her a hug for me.”
“I miss you so much.”
When we hang up sometime later, I’ve collected myself enough to head back to the living room.
Mom’s still asleep. I spend a few moments perched on the edge of the bed watching the shallow rise and fall of her chest. Her lips look chapped so I grab one of my chapstick tubes from the end table and apply a coat. She doesn’t stir.
I spot Richard sipping coffee at the kitchen table. Without a word, I pour myself a cup and settle in across from him.
“Thank you for being here,” I say sincerely.
He grins over the rim of his mug. “Thank you for allowing me to be. If I’m ever overstepping please feel free to let me know.”
I nod, grateful for his thoughtfulness.
As though our minds are aligned, our gazes slide to Mom at the same time. Seconds tick by before we turn back, eyes locking briefly over long pulls of coffee.
“You know, when she told me you two were seeing each other I was a little shocked,” I confess. He smiles. “It’d been a while since she brought a guy around.”
Mom may have made my happiness her full-time job, but she’s never stopped chasing her own. I’ve watched her do it my whole life. She’s always been shameless in telling me about her dating escapades, but she’s rarely offered specifics on who or when. For years I wondered if it was because she was only seeing guys casually. She was a seize-the-day kind of woman, after all. But as I got older, I realized it was to protect me. To never allow a revolving door of men into her daughter’s life.
Yet, Richard’s here. And he’s here because Mom wants him here. I can’t ignore the significance of that no matter how much I might want to.
“Will you tell me about how you guys started dating?”
A smile spreads over his face, eyes beaming. My heart swells as he tells their story.
They ran into each other six months ago at aCall Back to the Classicsmatinee showing ofSabrina. I grin fondly—she’s always said the original is better than the remake. I’ve never told her I prefer Harrison Ford over Humphrey Bogart. Pretty sure she’d disown me.
He laughs, recounting the theater was empty save for the two of them, but my mother took the seat right next to him. No invitation, no“may I sit here?”Richard recognized her immediately, saying it was the first time he’d been attracted to another woman since his wife passed three years prior.
They spent more time talking than watching the movie.
I’ve done the math in my head—this was a month after her diagnosis. “How long before she told you about the cancer?”
Another sip of coffee. “I walked her to her car after. She told me then.” He pauses, lips twitching. “Then I asked her out.”
I cock my head and he reads the question on my mind.
His gaze swivels to Mom. “Your mom’s the kind of person you just wanna be around. Logic, self-preservation, expiration dates—none if it seems to matter when it comes to her.” A weight lands heavy in my chest as he sets his attention back on me. “I don’t regret it, Hannah.”
“Have you told her how you feel?” If the man thinks I can’t see the writing on the wall, he’s a fool.He loves her.
Arms folded across his chest, he studies me, jaw ticking. I hold his stare. “Every day for the past three months.”
He reaches for his mug again, and there’s a pain in his expression I can’t shake. “I’m guessing she hasn’t said it back.”
Richard swallows long but I don’t let his silence win. I wait in the quiet until he admits, “No. But I still don’t regret it.”
My mind circles through everything I know about their relationship. He’s the first man she’s told me about in years, much less openly dated in front of me. Through her most certain fate and his daily confessions of love, she’s continued to see him. And for reasons far too familiar, and that I’m too emotionally spent to confront, she hasn’t said it back.
I know Mom only has a limited number of words left. Before tonight, I selfishly wanted to keep them all for myself. But now? Now I’d happily give three of them up.
55
that’s what hearts do
Rowan