I kiss him, sending up a silent prayer, a plea, a wish. Hoping against hope against hope the universe is a little kinder to us next time.
51
we did it, baby
Rowan
“Dubs.”I slam Mom’s van keys into his chest. “You’re taking Mom and Bri back to Hannah’s tonight.”
“Say please.”
Hannah snorts a laugh at my side, but I refuse to coalesce to the evil grin on his face.
“Say please, Shaw. ‘Please, will you take my family to Hannah’s house so I can have super secret sexy time with my girlfriend alone at my lake house.’Say it, Rowan. I know you know how.”
I blink and grit out, “Please.”
“Please what?” He circles a hand, prodding me to go on.
“Oh fuck off.” I turn with Hannah toward the exit. “You know where the spare key is.”
My heart still skitters at the termgirlfriendwhen she tags on, “Send us a pin if you get lost on the way to put it back.”
Dubs clutches the keys over his sternum, squares his shoulders. “Leave no man behind.”
“Might wanna grab a flashlight too, the journey could be dark,” she muses.
“Nah,” Dubs says, “the floodlight we installed this afternoon should lightmy way.”
Hannah guffaws, punches my arm. “Rowan Shaw!”
“Welp, we’re leaving,” I announce, dragging her behind me, feigning deafness as she protests my latest home upgrade. It makes her home safer, end of story.
“Don’t forget to wrap it up, kids!” Dubs shouts across the room, effectively signing his own death certificate. Hannah’s face is on fire. I throw a middle finger over my shoulder before the ballroom door closes behind us.
“I gotta make a stop on the way,” I say as I back out of the parking spot. Her curious eyes catch mine when I shift the car into drive. “Dubs may be a pain in my ass, but he reminded me I don’t have any condoms.”
Her brows pinch as she looks away.
We come to a stoplight and I maneuver into the turn lane. My hand finds her leg across the console. “Hey, if you’ve changed your mind, that’s okay.”
“No,” she rushes out, fingers twisting in the material of her skirt distractedly. “It’s not that. I just…um…well, I’m on birth control and I got tested after my last relationship. Everything was clear so…”
Blood pulses in my ears to the tune of theclick, clackof the car’s blinker. We’ve never talked about past relationships because, frankly, I don’t care who or how many came before me as long as she’s mine now. But her ability to trust me like this does something to my heart that has my next words spilling out before I can stop them.
“I haven’t been with anyone since I met you.”
Click, clack. Click, clack.
She swallows. “Why?”
I take in a long breath, bracing for my confession. “Because it felt wrong to sleep with someone when I couldn’t stop thinking about someone else. I thought the feelings would pass with time because I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, but…they never stopped, Hannah.”
Click, clack. Click, clack.
A sad smile lifts her cheeks as she leans over, kisses me once. “I haven’t been with anyone since I met you either.”
The words are barely out before I yank her lips back to mine. Sheworks a hand through the open collar of my shirt and squeezes my neck. My hand on her knee slides higher, her hips shifting in a silent plea.